Sweet Freedom

... sweet freedom, shine your light on me...

Of the different types of freedom, such as freedom from taxes, there is one freedom people will die to achieve and defend: Political Freedom. You can't see it, wear it or eat it, but you know when you have it.

Being born and living under the banner of political freedom, I always take great joy in celebrating the 4th of July with fireworks and the singing of patriotic songs.

Every year on the 4th of July, the TV broadcasts 'A Capital Forth', a program of patriotic music capped off by the National Symphony Orchestra playing Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture ², enhanced by the live firing of cannons. Bursts of red, white and blue fireworks fill the sky with shooting stars and giant glistening flowers designed to last only a fraction of a moment. For how ever long the fireworks last, its a magic show that holds one spellbound, whether viewing live or on television.

Celebrating the 4th of July reminds us that political freedom came from fighting the American Revolutionary War. It was not a revolution of redistribution of power as in the Russian Revolution, but a revolution to achieve political independence. As a nation, we are very proud and quick to judge if a threat to this independence arises and we put great stock in the Constitution that guarantees the personal freedoms of citizens.

However well intentioned, the zeal to protect and defend has led to practices that infringe on these rights. The collection of metadata by the NSA ¹ has reached the point of absurdity and its time to re-evaluate the value of that practice in the light of Political Freedom.

Anything that chips away parts of our precious independence is a threat that can't be ignored.


[Editor's notes:

1: The National Security Agency (NSA) is one of 17 Security Agencies, along with other law enforcement and regional agencies, in the USA. The initials, NSA, have come to represent all the security services in the US by popular use. The initials can also refer to any security service in the world, although each has their own initials and titles like: GCHQ, BND.

Each of the world's security services, along with regional and local law enforcement agencies, harvests, collects and stores metadata regardless of national boundaries or citizenship of origin. The US NSA just does more of it than the others.

2: The 1812 Overture does not celebrate the American War of 1812, but the eventual victory of the Russians defending their country against the invading French under Napoleon. The Russians lost the battle but the cost to the French was the entire war and eventually their Emperor.]

Victory from the Heels of Defeat
How the invading Grande Armée of Napoleon won the battle but lost the war.

On 7 September 1812, at Borodino, 120 km (75 mi) west of Moscow, Napoleon's forces met those of General Mikhail Kutuzov in the only concerted stand made by Russia against the seemingly invincible French Army. The Battle of Borodino saw casualties estimated as high as 100,000 and resulted in a French tactical victory. It was, however, ultimately a Pyrrhic victory for the French invasion.

With resources depleted and supply lines overextended, Napoleon's weakened forces moved into Moscow, which they occupied with little resistance. Expecting capitulation from the displaced Tsar Alexander I, the French instead found themselves in a barren and desolate city, parts of which the retreating Russian Army had burned to the ground.

Deprived of winter stores, Napoleon had to retreat. Beginning on October 19 and lasting well into December, the French Army faced several overwhelming obstacles on its long retreat: famine, typhus, frigid temperatures, harassing cossacks and Russian forces barring the way out of the country. Abandoned by Napoleon in November, the Grande Armée was reduced to one-tenth of its original size by the time it reached Poland and relative safety.

Michael Hayden and the One Question by KimB

Retired 4 Star United States Air Force General Michael Hayden is one very smart man. Actually he's way beyond smart and probably well into the brilliant category. Anyone viewing a debate or interview that includes General Hayden would be well advised to keep on their toes while listening to him speak.

He's extraordinarily knowledgeable and eloquent in speaking. He had a lot of experience during his many year tenure at the NSA and CIA, and a stint at the DNI, not just in running the organizations but working with politicians from all political views and knows just about everything needed to give a good presentation.

His speaking skills excel far beyond many in the military who's sole answer to any question is a bazooka, but he's no less deadly than the ones who outweigh him physically or can flex more muscles or carry more gear ... the drones depend on him.

He's the ultimate “M” for the modern day USA.

There are loads of conspiracy theories in the world: Secret coalitions, Enemy Outside, Enemy Inside, Enemy Above, Enemy Below and many more categories with variations and permutations. While there are loads of conspiracy theories in the world, and some of them have turned out not to be theories at all but realities.

Historian Bruce Cumings said:

"But if conspiracies exist, they rarely move history; they make a difference at the margins from time to time, but with the unforeseen consequences of a logic outside the control of their authors: and this is what is wrong with 'conspiracy theory.' History is moved by the broad forces and large structures of human collectivities."

I don't think Bruce Cumings has met General Hayden.

What's most remarkable about General Hayden is that he's almost unremarkable; it's the perfect cover for the USA's top spy master. Someone you can underestimate but who will send a drone to your doorstep as a “thank you gift” with nary a qualm.

He's quick of wit and fast on his feet, unlike many of his successors who simply couldn't think up a good enough line at the time and ended up with testimony like the now infamous exchange between Ron Wyden, United States Senator for Oregon, Member of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence and James Clapper Director of National Intelligence on March 12, 2013, during a United States Senate Select Committee on Intelligence hearing,

Senator Wyden:

"Does the NSA collect any type of data at all on millions or hundreds of millions of Americans?"

James Clapper Director of National Intelligence:

"No, sir."

Senator Wyden:

"It does not?"

James Clapper Director of National Intelligence:

"Not wittingly. There are cases where they could inadvertently, perhaps, collect, but not wittingly."

One simply cannot imagine General Hayden landing in that uncomfortable spotlight. After all, his job is to stay out of the spotlight as much as possible while shining the same spotlight into every other aspect of our lives, including everyone on the planet no matter who they are or where they live.

One of General Hayden's greatest assets within the Security Complex of the USA and it's closest allies (and not so close allies), is the ability to re-define any word in the English language to mean whatever he wants it to mean. It's an extraordinary gift.

One of the many short comings of English is that the language is highly flexible. Words change meaning and context all the time. Sometimes a word carries one connotation and then morphs into something completely different like the word: bork.

But General Hayden's ability is far superior to others because he does not have to redefine the words himself. He is highly persuasive at getting others to do it for him. His skill with words is deadly and the victims of his encounters surrendered not only their own freedoms but those of all the people that depended on their independence and their adherence to “norms” of the English language and it's usage, but in the end it was quite easy. A triumph none the less.

• Relevant = everything
• Not Wittingly = without having to think about it, the machines do it
• Inadvertent = we collect it all
• Cell phones = warheads on foreheads
• Metadata = We kill people based on metadata
• iPhone apps = 400,000 attacks

  [General Hayden] and his wife were in an Apple store in Virginia ....
  
  A salesman approached and raved about the iPhone, saying that there were already "400,000 apps" for the device.
  
  Hayden, amused, turned to his wife and quietly asked: "This kid doesn't know who I am, does he? Four-hundred-thousand apps means 400,000 possibilities for attacks."
  
  Der Spiegel On Line September 09, 2013

No matter how hard people might resist to begin with, General Hayden will win. Some like Colleen Kollar-Kotelly, then presiding judge of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISC) and now a judge for the United States District Court for the District of Columbia, lasted 2 visits before capitulating not only her judicial independence but the Constitution and all the freedoms of the American People.

He will always win.

General Hayden wins because he asks the one question that no one will answer any other way. As long as the answer remains the same he will win. His question controls the Congress, the President, the courts and the Supreme Court. It controls world leaders and policy makers everywhere. It controls how the world surveillance is setup and why it works. It controls business and affects everyone on the planet. He asks it whenever anyone questions him about the activities of the security services no matter what the circumstances.

How will you answer General Hayden's question?

If we halt what we are doing and there is another disaster like 9/11 (or even bigger than 9/11) and that disaster could have been stopped had we kept those programs, are you willing take responsibility for all the deaths and all the destruction.

Are you willing to put your name on the order that said “stop”?

Whirligigs

I have a small collection of colorful whirligigs in the window boxes and hanging baskets outside my computer room window. They are the simple, wind driven, pinwheel type used as lawn ornaments and in gardens to repel birds. Several are double layered.

Placed to catch the breezes from different directions, they spin at different speeds, some going 90 to nothin' and others slowly revolving when a soft breeze floats by.

I enjoy gazing at them. Its amazing that such simple items can be so amusing. I often wonder how far back in human history the concept was discovered. Dutch windmills are famous, and some type of a sailing ship seems to have always been with us. The other day I went to the web to find out, and read on Wikipedia some interesting facts about whirligigs that had never crossed my mind.

A version called a bamboo-copter, dated 400BC was found in China. In 700BC the Sasanian Empire, (Persian) used windmills to lift water. Sumerians in 1600-1800BC used them as weather-vanes. The first known representation of a European whirligig is a medieval tapestry depicting children playing with a hobby horse at one end of a stick, a 4 blade propeller at the other end.

William Shakespeare used a whirligig as a metaphor, “what goes around, comes around” in Twelfth Night. Museums collect them. Value of early folk art whirligigs vary. In 2000, one of Uncle Sam with Saw, sold for $12,650, another folk art creation sold for $10,025. An oil painting by Hieronymus Bosch, Christ Child with a Walking Frame, contains a clear illustration of a string powered whirligig. A painting by Jan Provost (late 16th century) “Virgin and Child in a Landscape” shows the Christ child holding a whirligig.

The simplest is pinwheel, but configurations vary. Among modern makers, the most famous is Vollis Simpson (1919-May 31, 2013) who was profiled on PBS in a photo essay at Minnesota Museum of Science. One of his stands in front of American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore, Maryland. He was named the 2012 Arts and Culture winner of Southern Living Heroes of the New South Awards. Some of his creations reached 50 feet in height.

Vollis Simpson whirligigs

Food Crazes

My latest food craze is guacamole sandwiches.

I don't make the guacamole, although its very easy to make. Instead, I buy it from a woman who makes it at a small stand inside the grocery store that I patronize. I have been using it as a dip, and only recently discovered that it is delicious as a sandwich.

Whenever I buy avocados, it reminds me of lunching with a friend in Acapulco, Mexico. It was common for street vendors to enter sidewalk cafes and offer to sell oranges or avocados to the patrons. During our lunch, a vendor selling avocados came to our table. My friend purchased several to take home, remarking that avocados were known as “Mexican butter”.

I never bothered to try them as butter, only using them in salads, until I the other day when I wanted some guacamole, only to find I was out of chips.

What to do, Percy? What to do?

I slathered a couple of slices of whole grain bread with guacamole, slapped them together in a sandwich and discovered 'paradiso!

So that I can indulge myself with my latest food craze, I'll start making my own guacamole to assure a ready supply!

Mantequilla de pobre (Spanish for: poor-man's butter) is a mixture of avocado, tomato, oil, and citrus juice. Despite its name, it predates the arrival of dairy cattle in the Americas, and thus was not originally made as a butter substitute.

Guacamole Butter

Guacamole

The Recipe Box: Boiled Eggs

Boiled Eggs

From the recipe box of MrsB

My brother Charles taught me how to boil eggs this way.

Use a pan that allows only one layer of eggs.

• I cover them with cold tap water, but just enough water to generously cover them.
• If you add too much water, it will throw the timing off.

Set a water timer for the boiling water.

• Wait for the water to boil before starting the egg timer.
• It may depend on the temp of your tap water, but for me it takes about 8-10 minutes for the water to begin boiling.
• I try to see exactly when the water begins to boil, but if I miss it by a few seconds or even a minute, I don't panic.

Set a water timer for the boiling water, 8 min

Turn down the flame and start the egg timer when it boils.

• I turn the flame down but keep the eggs gently simmering, not a hard boil. Its important to time the eggs at this point.
• If you over boil, the white gets rubbery and you get a green coating around the yolk.

For small eggs, 10 mins

large eggs 12 mins

jumbo eggs 14-15 mins

Drain and cool the eggs.

• At this point, quickly drain the hot water and run cold tap water over the eggs because they keep cooking as long as they are hot.

Egg Tips

• If the eggs are at least a week old, it will be easy to peal them as you hold them under a slow stream of cold tap water.
• Do not add salt to the water when you boil them.
• Its best to use eggs that are at least 3 or 4 days old , a week or more is even better.

Custard Tips

You can find many recipes for custard on the net and baking instructions, but this is the way I bake it. It does take a much longer time but I never get watery custard and never get bubbles in the custard from too much heat.

When I make egg custard, I'm very particular about the oven heat. I do not preheat the oven and only turn it on when the custard is ready for the oven.

I use a bit less of the sugar called for in the recipe and I use powdered milk. The vanilla gives it enough flavor that I never miss the whole milk.

• Do not preheat the oven and only turn it on when the custard is ready for the oven.
• Bake the custard in a Bain Marie, which means placing the dish with the custard mixture into a larger pan and add cold tap water so that it comes about inch up the sides of the dish.
• You will know when its done when the center still jiggles a bit.
• Remove the custard from the pan of water and let it cool.
• It will continue to cook enough to get firm.

Options

• use less sugar
• use powdered milk

Boiled Eggs

Large Eggs at least 3-4 days old.

Preparation

1. 1 layer eggs covered in tap cold water.
2. 8 minute water timer for boiling water. Start egg timer when the water actually starts to boil.
3. 12 minute egg timer for large eggs. Reduce heat to slow simmer.
4. Drain and run under cold water.

Hard Boiled Eggs

Tigranes' Messenger by KimB

There are those that will stand and tell the truth. They take the Risk of the Messenger. Edward Snowden is one of those to take the Risk of the Messenger.

While King Tigranes killed the first messenger and many feared to bring news of the battle to him, eventually one did tell him and was recognized for his courage.

The wrath of the US and World leaders against Edward Snowden cannot be denied. But Edward Snowden is not the only messenger, there have been others. Those others gave up lives, careers, freedom and held to their ideals and took the Risk of the Messenger too. Each in turn was slain by Tigranes the Public.

The public is often mislead about the actions and implementations of provisions by governments world wide to control their movements, ideas, knowledge and every aspect of their lives: the new form of electronic serfdom.

But like Tigranes the Great, we can recognize the bravery of those who take the Risk of the Messenger and acknowledge them for their courage. Tigranes the Great did wake up; he transcended many difficulties and outlived the majority of his rivals and those that betrayed him were punished: exiled or imprisoned.

Politics is always fluid but there are indications that Tigranes the Public is waking up to the war around them.

Eventually Mithrobazanes, one of Tigranes generals, told Tigranes of the Roman approach. Tigranes was so impressed by Mithrobazanes' courage that he appointed Mithrobazanes to command an army...

Killing the Messenger

On the evening of Wednesday, May 28, 2014, NBC television aired Brian Williams interview with Edward Snowden who publicized NSA's global surveillance of phone and Internet communications. The National Security Agency of the United States collects this data on the premise that we are being protected from 'terrorism'.

NBC invited watchers of the interview to vote on Twitter whether Snowden is a Patriot or Traitor. The result, after the time allowed for voting ended, was 61% for being a Patriot against 39% being a Traitor.

Snowden Twitter Graph
White = Patriot / Blue = Traitor

Using the Twitter approval graph as a guide, I expected panel discussions on TV about the legality of data collection by NSA, but instead, I heard only criticisms of Snowden as a law breaker.

History has examples of killing messengers; in Plutarch's Lives, Tigranes, Emperor of Armenia, decapitated the messenger bringing news of a surprise attack by Lucullus, a commander of the Roman Republic.

One doesn't have to reach back in history to know messengers live in peril. We have a recent example of how derision and scornful criticism can lead to the death of a messenger.

Gary Stephen Webb, (Aug 31, 1955 – Dec 10, 2004) was an American investigative reporter. He authored the 1996 series of articles called “Dark Alliance” for the San Jose Mercury News. In a 20,000 word, three part series, he documented the CIA's knowledge that Nicaraguan drug traffickers sold and distributed large shipments of crack cocaine in Los Angels during the 1980's and that the profits were used to fund CIA supported Nicaraguan Contras. He charged the Reagan administration with shielding inner-city drug dealers from prosecution in order to raise money for the Contras after Congress passed the Boland Amendment prohibiting direct Contra funding.

“Dark Alliance” gained national attention and was the most talked about journalism in 1996. Immediate denials emerged. Backlash against Webb and his story came from media manipulation by the government thru the largest newspapers, Los Angeles Times, New York Times, The Washington Post, and later, by the papers editors. Further details concerning publication, documentation, retractions and denials can be read on numerous internet sites and on Wikipedia pages.

Because of the controversy, San Jose Mercury News backed away from the story, ending Webb's career as a mainstream media journalist. Continued denunciation and harsh critical attacks resulted in Webb's inability to financially support his family. He committed suicide December 10, 2004.

Webb's story, his work and talent has been vindicated by researchers resulting in retractions by the same newspapers that had criticized him. In recognition of his talent, a movie, “Kill the Messenger”, a Peter Landesman screenplay, based on the “Dark Alliance” series, directed by Michael Cuesta, starring Jeremy Renner, is due to open in October 2014.

Is it possible that we Americans would rather kill a messenger than deal with the content of the information that Snowden brought us?

"The first messenger that gave notice of Lucullus' coming was so far from pleasing Tigranes that he had his head cut off for his pains; and no man daring to bring further information, without any intelligence at all, Tigranes sat while war was already blazing around him, giving ear only to those who flattered him...".

Plutarch's Lives

Propaganda

Propaganda

Noun: Propaganda is the systematic propagation of a doctrine or cause of information reflecting the views and interests of those advocating such a doctrine or cause.

Noun: Material disseminated by the advocates or proponents of a cause or doctrine.

Propaganda is a form of communication used to influence attitudes of a population towards a cause or position. Propaganda appeals to emotion, not intellect. Propaganda is used by governments in public campaigns using the same techniques applied to advertising and public relations to sell a point of view or product.

By using images and words, classical conditioning is achieved by appealing to fear. The impartial message may lie by omission. If the message is outside the bounds of acceptance, the technique of exposing a more extreme position may lead to a moderating of reluctance and partial acceptance of the message, thus, allowing the population to slowly drift into full compliance and acceptance.

The continuance of data collection by the NSA, which violates the privacy of American citizens and is unconstitutional and is explained by the U S government's assertion that we are being protected from 'terrorism'.

How does that equate with the belief that an American citizen's personal privacy is sacrosanct?

"See in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."

President George W. Bush May 24, 2005

The Internet Part 3 by KimB

Back to the Cake Mix

Like any great recipe, the quality of ingredients, the order in which they are added, the way they are mixed, how it is baked all need to be done exactly the same way every time to get the same cake. Adding extra salt, changing the amount of baking powder, or flavoring, all change the cake and it's not the same cake as before. This is what will happen with the Internet and the NSA's surveillance will fail in it's current format.

For every layer in the cake, a simple change will break the Internet as it is today.

One of the many layers that is changing is described as Internet Balkanization or Splinternet, where various forms of sub-division will be implemented on the Internet. One way to understand how this will work is using the train tracks for analogy. Train tracks come in different widths called Track Gauge, when a train comes to a track using a different gauge, the train stops, the train cars are shifted onto a set of wheels matching the new track width or passengers have to move from one train to another, then everyone proceeds until they come to another track gauge change.

All countries have the ability to turn off the Internet at will. We can see this in the Middle East and other countries in conflict, when governments just turn the spigot off. This is a different method than Balkanization, where the Internet is completely severed. It doesn't last too long because businesses need to do, well, business.

Splinternets may be parallel Internets that would be run as distinct, private, and autonomous universes or have more “stop” in their “stop sign”, like the Great Firewall of China (Golden Shield Project). Some countries have already declared their intention to break off from the current set of “internet track gauge one size fits all” and move to their own. Brazil and Russia are two of the newest declarants of this process.

The common cry is “But... but... but... NOTHING will work!” And that's exactly right. It won't work … the way it is now. It won't be the same. It will be different. And all the NSA surveillance options on this layer of the cake using this ingredient will fail.

There are many more ingredients that will change too. This is only one of them. Each layer has a weakness that is exploited not just by the NSA but all malware developers. The NSA has a lot in common with malware developers and employ some of the best the FBI can arrest. The NSA with their internal cadre of malware developers and independent business malware developers, both will have to develop new techniques to exploit not just each item on the ingredient list and each layer but for each type, style, size and flavor of cake. That will take time and of course a lot more money. Their current investment will yield less and less over time. The echo effect of changes may accelerate changes in other aspects of the current system.

There will be a lot of gnashing of teeth and crying in the wilderness in the process. It won't be “fun”, it won't be “easy”. It will be “messy” and “nasty” and very “inconvenient”. It will take some time but like an avalanche, a small change can make a big heap of snow fall down the mountain. The NSA will try to influence all the changes, they will try to get “back doors” and “encryption keys” on demand. They will try with all their might to hold on to what they have.

Those of us in the USA may be subject to their demands and FISA warrants and secret courts (there are many) and ex parte legal proceedings and “wrong check boxes” being ticked on purpose, renditions and “enhanced interrogation” methods (by any other name known as torture), mourning the disappeared and all the other NSA activities disclosed not just by Edward Snowden but by whistleblowers all over the globe. The NSA maybe able to silence some but not all; not all the time and not forever.

The scope of the changes to the Internet is world wide and is already being implemented. Each change reveals more and more that The Emperor has No Clothes.

And like the story, in the end, The Emperor is Naked.


[Editor's note: This story is Part 3 of 3 and was written by KimB.]




Internet Connectivity Access Layer



Internet Connectivity Distribution Core

The Internet Part 2 by KimB

“The Emperor has No Clothes”.

The NSA and all of the other world's security services, are dependent on a simple requirement: That Nothing Change. A small change and their entire empire of surveillance collapses. So the NSA et al, will attempt to block changes but they control only a small part of the world, a very small part. Once a change is initiated elsewhere, it cascades through the system. Their job is to prevent changes at all costs.

The first change is:

The Internet was build on “trust” but it was never designed to be “secure” and it was never designed to be “securable”.

The great idea that we, the people of the world, could “trust” the Internet to perform our tasks was a laudable vision. I could “trust” that a email I sent to someone would get there auto-magically and without being intercepted and read along the way. I could “trust” that my personal information was secure and that no one without my authorization could see it.

Unfortunately, there were some who did not share in this view, both the NSA (as a catch all phrase for all world government surveillance organizations) and corporations took advantage of my “trust”. Some did ask for permission but hid what they were doing with the information or subtly changed or reworded their requests because they knew that few would willing agree to their ultimate goals, not even for free email.

Once you understand that the basis of Internet Trust cannot be recovered, then you have to look deeper into the technology to see all the places The Emperor has No Clothes. The changes won't be “fun” and they won't be “convenient” but they will happen, they are happening and they've been in progress for sometime because while the average person on the planet may not have been aware of the NSA data trawl, other governments certainly were and those governments are no longer going to Go Along To Get Along. The benefit to any government not on the NSA's “friends list” has expired.

Techie Talk Time
Warning eye-glazing-over information about to appear. Try to prop the eyelids open for a short period.

Everything in the Internet or any Computer System is based on a 7 layer cake called the OSI Model. This 7 layer cake defines exactly how your email gets from your PC to the Destination. It's applied to Big Iron like supercomputers as well as your cellphone or phablet. It's the recipe for how things happen, where and when.

Just like a cake, there's a time for mixing, there's a time for baking, there's a time for frosting. All the items go in order, every time, all the time. When it goes in order, according to the recipe out comes the Internet all nice and tasty, ready to eat, looking like “MORE!” as soon as you see it.

Within each of the 7 layers, are specialties. You may buy Organic Flour at the store, but the flour is milled and packaged by someone else, before that it was planted and harvested. There are many kinds of flours to select from. Each different and unique but all fitting within a particular layer.

The NSA has tinkered in every single layer of the cake recipe. There's no layer they have not compromised, accessed or exploited. Your Organic Flour is not Organic. The flour is not 100% wheat. The wheat did not come from a farm in Kansas as stated on the package but comes from an undisclosed location. There are GMOs in the flour and it has some additives not listed in the ingredients list too. In short, the flour is not at all what you thought it was and you won't be buying that brand again.

The same goes for every layer in the OSI Model. It's all tainted. The reason the NSA et al. were able to taint the layers, is because we “trusted” the Internet and “trusted” that other providers of each ingredient or component would be honest and do the best they could for their area. But clearly we were wrong in our trust.

The NSA made sure “we” didn't know, but many did know. The history of the Internet and the results of the exposés, showed that many did know what was going on but the NSA could easily overwhelm the their concerns with “You know nothing John Snow...” and submerge their true purposes by isolating and limiting the sources of information and using “Trust Me” answers.

[Editor's note: This story is Part 2 of 3 and was written by KimB.]

OSI 7 Layer Model

The Internet Part 1 by KimB

The revelations of whistle blower Edward Snowden have certainly changed the Internet forever. Glenn Greenwald's book No Place to Hide is a great explanation of how the information came into the public domain and the many articles in news papers, blogs, journals around the world help explain what it all means. There is certainly a lot to take in.

During my career in Silicon Valley, I was fortunate to have worked in nearly every field mentioned in the exposés or worked with other specialists in those fields on combined projects. I am familiar with many of their aspects even if I am not an expert in any one of them.

While it may not seem to be obvious to some, things will not go back to where they were. Knowledge cannot be “un-done”. If you know, you know. When they don't want you to know, they hide it, but sometimes you can figure it out anyway. If it's hidden deep enough, you need someone like Edward Snowden to point to the X Marks The Spot on the map to actually see the zebra under the stripes.

Of course they can try to hide their zebra among other zebras but zebra spotters can tell one from another, just like shepherds know all their sheep. Similar to the current offerings in the US Congress purporting to change or “fix” the NSA overstep [ex: USA Freedom Act], none of them change anything. They actually make the NSA data trawl worse. There are 3 zebras on offer but they are all the same when it gets to the part about halting the NSA data trawl.

So, some things may not change directly but things will not go back to where they were before, because we know. And what we know affects everything around us, our interactions and our behaviors.

But within the “Same Old, Same Old” processes offered up as “fixes” there are other “fixes” that are needed and will be made. They may not be made by “US” but they are going to be made anyway. The US is not the World and there are others who will enact changes for their own benefit and these changes will affect “US”. But to understand what these changes will be takes a bit of techie-talk to get to the bottom of the heap of changes.

The most important thing to know about everything the NSA does is: “The Emperor has No Clothes”.

[Editor's note: This story is Part 1 of 3 and was written by KimB.]

The Emperor's New Clothes

A vain Emperor who cares about nothing except wearing and displaying clothes hires two swindlers who promise him the finest, best suit of clothes from a fabric invisible to anyone who is unfit for his position or "hopelessly stupid". The Emperor's ministers cannot see the clothing themselves, but pretend that they can for fear of appearing unfit for their positions and the Emperor does the same. Finally the swindlers report that the suit is finished, they mime dressing him and the Emperor marches in procession before his subjects. The townsfolk play along with the pretense, not wanting to appear unfit for their positions or stupid. Then a child in the crowd, too young to understand the desirability of keeping up the pretense, blurts out that the Emperor is wearing nothing at all...

Room Names

I still refer to certain rooms in my apartment with names, that at one time were logical, but with the passing of time, no longer actually apply. I call one room, the 'bird' room because at one time I had a cockatiel. Its large cage was placed in a corner near the bay window in such a way that the bird could see who entered the room and also watch the people and autos passing by on the street. Unfortunately, the bird died and we gave the cage away.

Our closet under a stairway is large enough for a sleeping cot. It reminds me of the famous literary Harry Potter's bedroom, so I call it the Harry Potter closet. It has two doors. One where I keep the card table, vacuum cleaner and other paraphernalia. The other door opens to an area where a wire shelving rack on wheels holds canned goods and other items too numerous to store in the kitchen pantry.

The spare bedroom is called, Esther's room even though she hasn't visited for some time. We toss things on the bed like cold weather jackets because its easier than hanging them in the closet. Besides, we many need them tomorrow. The bedroom floor is littered with boxes. One with books intended for the VA hospital that have been weeded from those purchased at library sales. There is a box of knitting yarn that I will need later as my knitting progresses. Esther will have to give me a day's notice when she plans to visit, so I can clear out all the junk and make her room attractive again.

Continuing the use of these descriptive names became a habit and I never thought much about it until an acquaintance made the remark that she had never heard of people naming rooms. People do name rooms and areas, but use the descriptive words like 'dining room', 'front room', 'guest bedroom', 'back porch', 'entrance hall', 'rose garden', 'corn field', 'cow pasture'.

Besides rooms, people name houses. Theodore Roosevelt's Sagamore Hill, Tara of Gone With the Wind, Jefferson's Monticello, General Lee's Arlington House to name several. I never lived in a 'named' house, although we did call one house that we lived in for many years by the street name, Hillcrest. The house actually was located at the top of one of the California foot hills with that street name.

The family still uses the address number, 460, to refer to a much loved house that we once lived in. Our using just the number when referring to a particular house puts us in a select category. The following famous address numbers are universally understood; 1600 Pennsylvania (White House), 221b Baker St. (Sherlock Homes), Number 10 Downing Street (home of the British Prime Minister).



Sagamore Hill

Humor

The juxtaposition of incongruous concepts always makes me laugh. A lot of things tickle my funny bone and one of my favorite types of humor is political satire. There is an abundance of it on social media as well as television programs specializing in the work of several well known comedians. When comments are cleverly constructed, they can be funny regardless of one's political point of view.

Among the many types of humor I found listed on the internet was: slapstick, parody, spoof, satire, irony, sarcasm, farce, black comedy and surrealism. A play on words such as puns, double entendre, misunderstandings, flawed plans, out of context, and mockery are some of the devices used to make us laugh.

I rarely remember jokes so never pass them on, but for some reason, the following has stayed with me for years.

An acquaintance was listening to a radio broadcast of a game between her favorite baseball team and a rival. A dear friend of hers phoned to chat and my acquaintance told her she couldn't chat just then, she was listening to the game on the radio and the score was 1 to 1.

The friend asked, “Who's winning?”

I read somewhere that President Reagan kept a file of 3x5 cards with jokes and one liners on them and he's well known for always being ready to tell a joke. Lincoln was famous for telling stories, but I think they usually served to underline a point of view.

So How Does YOUR Garden Grow?

KimB

Four and a half pounds

As ever, I struggle to grow potatoes. I would surely starve if I had to rely on the ones I grew but I am compelled to keep trying.

Last year, I asked my friend from Belarus, how they grew potatoes on her family farm. We went down the list, well past the part of "Well, they just grow. You don't need to do much." Finally, we arrived at what we thought was the problem: I was giving them too much water and they never "tatered". The plants need to dry out like onions and garlic to get the "tater" part to work.

So armed with that new knowledge I forged ahead, following her directions and I GOT TATERS!

So this year I tried again, wondering if I would be successful using her directions.

In the winter time, the plants were beautiful. Luscious green leaves, lots of stalks and just looked fantastic. As we live in a dry climate, there's not a lot of rain so after what little natural rain fall happens here, I just "pulled the plug" and turned off the water.

Potatoes Winter Time 2014

I couldn't bare to look. Those beautiful leaves soon withered and shriveled and I consoled myself that the taters would be worth it and that's what the plants are supposed to do. I just walked away and didn't look back.

Last week, prepping my few gardening pots for the new season, I decided it was time to look at the potato pots. The plants had all withered and dried and a slight tug pulled them from the soil. It seemed like a good sign.

So, I stuck my fingers in the soil and it was hard. Rock hard. Drat. The dirt had turned into concrete, so I pushed harder and wiggled my fingers around the edge of the pot to yank up the dried clump. Except it wasn't a dirt clod, it was a tater!

I felt around in the pot and realized it was FULL of potatoes. A LOT of potatoes! Every inch of the pot was crammed with taters!

Out they came by the handfuls and I overflowed my harvesting bowl. I got a good sized plastic bag and filled it up with taters but there were MORE taters and I had to get a second plastic bag. Both pots were full of potatoes both big and small. It took several hours to empty the pots of all the potatoes in them.

When I tallied up my taters I felt like a truck-farmer with a REAL harvest. I weighed up the biggest ones and the scale tipped over at 4 1/2 pounds!



Potato Harvest April 2014
4 1/2 pounds

Tomatoes

Its tomato plantin' time again, but I don't think I'll bother planting any this year.

The beautiful ones at the market are so much nicer than the pitiful harvests my little garden usually produces. The store I shop in sells clusters of 4 or 5 vine ripened tomatoes still attached to a portion of vine. They're large, red and juicy as only perfect tomatoes can be.

They bring to mind the tomatoes my mother grew in a small kitchen garden when I was a child. I was about 8 yrs old and on warm summer mornings I would come downstairs for breakfast only to find breakfast over, and my siblings out playing with friends.

I'd go searching for Mom and find her picking tomatoes in the little garden near the back porch. She would let me pick one to eat as I sat on the back porch steps. I'd often choose a 2nd and even a 3rd.

I can still smell the distinctive odor of tomato vines as I walked thru the rows to find the biggest, and juiciest ones, and recall slurping tomato juice as it dribbled down my chin.

Those delightful red tomato breakfasts and golden sunshine mornings are among the fondest memories etched in my memory bank.

Tomato Cluster

The 17 Year Spread by Barbara

It was back in 1987 when my sister Allene had come to visit with Mom and Andy in Abbeville Louisiana for a couple of weeks and of course her husband was with her.

Our visit was going great. We girls would sit around and talk about things we wish we could get and things we really didn't need of course, as our closets were bulging at the seams already. But you know how we girls are, if any thing new comes out, we want it!

Mom and Allene had gone shopping and bought each of them some new yarn to start new throws with the new colors that had come out. Not that they needed one more throw, because they had plenty all ready.

When Andy and James saw all the new yarn they asked them what in the world are you doing buying more of that stuff, you all ready have a closet full!

They answered, but we don't have any in this color!!!!

Then the guys wanted to know what's for supper.

Oh, okay, we'll fix your supper but then we're going to sit down and get started on our new throws.

So this is how it went for a few days. Cook, clean up the kitchen, sit crochet for a while, take a break have a cup of coffee and a slice of cake or maybe eat some good cookies.

Once supper was over, then the guys had to get their own eats and drinks 'cause the girls had done their job for the guys for the day, and now we can sit and work on the throws as long as we want. Yeah!

After a few days, I wanted to join in too, so I asked Sis (as I called her), if she would show me how to crochet. Of course she would be happy to! Then all three of us could sit and work together on our throws.

I couldn't just do something simple, oh no not me! I wanted to do a bed spread not just a throw.

Well, my birthday was coming up, so she told me we would go to TG&Y in the morning and she would let me chose the colors I wanted. So after taking care of breakfast and cleaning up, we head off to do our thing.

Now, don't ask me why I chose the colors I did, because I couldn't tell you. Only thing I can say is, I like fall, and browns, oranges and cream colors remind me of the fall colors. So there you are!

Sis even bought the needle for me. We check out and home we go. I'm so excited I'm going to learn how to crochet, and not just that simple throw either, mine will be a bedspread! Hallelujah!!

Now I'll confess I'm not too smart. I didn't see the days or the hours that it was going to take me to get this job finished. No sir! I had not a clue.

When we get home, its time for lunch so we set the stuff down; get in the kitchen (again); get through that and now time for me to learn! Yeah!!

We sit down and Sis gets it started, hands it to me and says make a long chain so I work and work. Finally, I ask if its long enough. She says lets go check it on the bed if it will go all the way across. Well of course it didn't. Back to chain a little more. Finally I have it long enough and its time to start doing the shell stitch, making a shell in each one of the holes.

By now its time for a break, so we relax for a while and have a cup of coffee. This was back in the days when I could drink a pot by myself. Can't do that any more, thank the good lord.

Any way, we worked on our projects for the rest of the week. I learned how to get to the end, turn around and come back. I had started off with the brown now it was time to start another color, so Sis showed me how to tie the thread and start again.

I did a little more work on it then put it away, so we could spend time talking before they left for home in Georgia.

I thanked her for my gift and for teaching me the art of crocheting. I hated to see them leave, but maybe they would visit again soon. Well that didn't happen.

Now, I never pulled that project back out for at least three months. I finished the orange did the cream color and put it away again. Only this time, I didn't pull it back out for at least one year.

One day, going through the closet, I came across the unfinished bedspread and thought how nice and warm that it would be for the coming winter, so I pulled it out once again. This time i finished it, except for the edging, but at least I could use it. Now its 1980.

Jerry and I move here to Groesbeck, Texas in 1988. We live in the country 'till 1990, when we buy this property; I want to say, maybe in 1995.

So, around 1995, I pull that bedspread out and completely finish it off. Praise the lord and hallelujah! Job well done, even if it did take me 17 years to complete. Like they say, better late than never. Right?

Hope ya'll enjoy my story.

P.S. My sweet loving sister got to see the finished project before she passed away in 1996. A good ending, huh?

[Editor's note: This story was written by Barbara.
Apologies from the Editor for not getting this wonderful story on line a lot earlier. At least is not quite 17 years.]

[Who is Barbara? Barbara is the widow of MrsB's brother Jerry (Gerald Dean Abbott October 6, 1931 - July 25, 2010). MrsB's brothers and sisters are: Adeline, Esther, Richard, Jerry, Elbert, Charles and Mickey.]

Fall Trees

500 Post Milestone!

[Note: Editor's Post]

MrsB's Blog has hit a new milestone: 500 posts! Amazing!

It's hard to imagine all the work and effort that's gone into the blog over the last decade but the proof is right there: 500 posts and MORE to come!

As always, the thanks belong to those who take a bit of time to write up interesting stories, or share memories with us. The readers of the blog get extra treats, insights and a chuckle, now and then, as we tell the story of our lives.

It's not too far off to say, a LOT of people read the blog and come back again and again to follow our family saga: fights with gophers, heroic efforts to get potatoes to grow, commentary on current events and historical musings.

500 stories have been told so far and here's hoping for 500 more.

KimB Editor (post 501)

Rhinos

Cory Knowlton and a secret partner's bid of $350,000 wins the auction held by the Dallas Safari Club to kill a black Rhino in Namibia. The Rhino is said to be old, non-reproducing and showing signs of aggressiveness, which could be a danger to young Rhinos.

Allegedly, the money will be used to help in the conservation of black Rhinos. In short, they want to kill a Rhino in order to save Rhinos.

I don't understand why the animal can't be moved to another area where it's no longer a danger to young Rhinos so it could live out its life, and perhaps, even allowed to be a tourist attraction.

The inborn urge to kill something is a trait that I have never understood. Killing animals just for the 'experience' is repugnant to me.

I hope those in charge of the shooting, will have second thoughts and just make a gift of the $350,000 to the conservation efforts to save black Rhinos.

Afterword

The National Geographic (Dallas Black Rhino Hunt Auction) has a good article expounding on the why this particular hunting permit is available in the US where trade in rhino products are illegal.

The countries where rhinos still exist do have limited permitted hunting of them and normally those permits are not seen by outsiders to the Big Game Hunting industry. The money obtained from these permits does help conservation. In this case, Namibia decided that they could obtain more money from selling the permit directly to a wealthy individual than from selling the same permit to one of the Big Game Hunting safari companies.

The value of an animal whether legally shot or poached, reduces the overall economic value of the eco-tourism safari industry, because that animal is no longer there to be "seen". If it's poached the carcass is left to rot while the "important parts" become a by-product, and if it's a "trophy" it's still dead; with the head stuffed and mounted on a plaque nailed to a wall in the home of it's killer, collecting dust.

[Editor's note: The Afterword was written by KimB.]


Black Rhino

Missing flight 370

I've listen to every snippet of information that's reported on television about the mysterious disappearance of the Malaysian plane, flight 370. Speculation of what happened, how, why and where has the whole world wondering if this mystery will ever be solved.

When I first heard there was a missing plane, I lamented the tragedy of such a horrific lost of life, 500 souls at one time.

In recent years, we have become used to (if not blasé), about mega deaths and mega happenings.

Before WWII we used to shudder when reports of events listed several fatalities. The prior patriotic deaths during wars were deemed acceptable, but the shocking Holocaust in WWII prepared us for mega deaths and mega events. Since then, genocides and wanton killing of citizens by tyrants and dictators is daily fare on TV. Fanatical religious groups plan and study the killing of large numbers of people and elements of extreme nature, floods, hurricanes and winter storms are causing mega disruptions of towns and cities. Severe droughts are turning agricultural lands into mega deserts. We are getting used to mega changes in mega bursts. Is it any wonder that flight 370 has become a mega mystery?

The history of planes being hi-jacked by religious extremists has led to speculation that flight 370 was deliberately flown off course for nefarious reasons. Reports of data being pieced together by manufactures and aviation agencies allows imagined scenarios of what may have happened in the cockpit and may even solve the mystery.

Regardless of the real happenings, I imagine a scenario that is one of heroism and bravery. In my alternate history, the pilots, honest, brave and dedicated to the safety of passengers, surreptitiously left clues as they were overwhelmed and control of the plane was taken from them. The odd remark, “good night” at the last check point which didn't follow protocol may have been their last indication that something was wrong. In my scenario, the pilots, under supervision from some criminal element, made every effort to keep the plane in the air as long as there was fuel. Contemplating what transpired on board then is just too horrible to think about.

In my fictional world, I can have a miracle. I imagine the possibility that the plane flew to another country on purpose and so my imaginary plane lands safely; the authorities are able to arrest hijackers and keep pilots and passengers safe.

If only that fiction became reality...


Van Gogh In Alternate Universe
by Aisa Mijeno

Theater: R. Buckminster Fuller by Richard

Recently, Frances and I enjoyed the play R. Buckminster Fuller: The History (and Mystery) of the Universe performed by the San Jose Repertory Company. The play was written and directed by D.W. Jacobs and starred Ron Campbell as the main character.

R. Buckminster Fuller, called Bucky by his friends, was a 20th century inventor and visionary in solving global problems.

The character of R. Buckminster Fuller, was portrayed by Ron Campbell and we were wowed as he moved from subject to subject during the performance.

The play covered 2 hours (plus a 20 minute break) and was so interesting, I was ready for more!

For my self, I am interested in all the various scientific fields depicted during the production. I would recommend this play to any one who has an interest or curiosity about the fields of science.

When the play ended, Ron Campbell received a standing ovation which was well deserved.

[Editor's note: This story was written by Richard]



R. Buckminster Fuller:
The History (and Mystery) of the Universe

The Snail Mail Birmingham Blues

Foreword

Snail mail is nearly gone, replaced by instant messaging, texting, Skyping, on-line orders, automatic bill pay, e-mail, voice mail and overnight delivery. The wonderful anticipation of the post delivery is an experience new generations will hardly be aware of. Today, you order something on-line; it arrives the next day. You want to ask your friends to go out, you send a Twitter or Facebook invite; replies are nearly instantaneous.

There was a time when we knew the mail delivery person. They came to our door bringing news from far away, dreaded bills and sometimes a bit of neighborhood info along with the weekly store ads that were so important for managing tight budgets and limited assets. They came rain or shine, wind or sleet. They knew our names and we knew theirs. They watched as neighborhood children grew up and went off to follow their own paths. They kept an eye on the seniors that lived on their circuit as they made their way door to door. We cheered them when they retired and greeted the new postal delivery person with respect and honor.

A time gone by....

[Editor's note: The Foreword was written by KimB.]

A small homage to the lost days when waiting for the post was an important part of the day.

The Snail Mail Birmingham Blues

I got the blues, the Birmingham blues
waitin' on a letter with the latest news.
I got the blues
Waitin' on a letter from you

Down in the Valley,
Where wild flowers grow,
You can hang your head over
and hear the wind blow,

My forty foot castle reaches the sky,
And I wait and wait for mail to come by,
But I got the blues,
Just awaitin' for a letter from you.

My red, red roses faded from view,
The blue, blue violets faded too
But Angles know that I say true,
The Angles know that I love you,

I got the blues the Birmingham blues,
Waitin' for a letter from you.

I'm not askin' for the Holy Grail,
Only a letter, sent by mail
I got the blues, the Birmingham blues
Waitin' on a letter from you.

Marion Bigelow February 2014

There has been a slight delay...

[Note: Editor's Post]

Sorry... It's actually a long delay and it's all on the part of the Editor. Moi.

Soon we will be back going "Full Gas On" and getting the stories out that MrsB has ready to go and catch up on all the latest doin's hither and yonder.

As a sneak preview here's some of the photos for upcoming posts in:

So How Does Your Garden Grow?

Spring Tulips and Freesias 2014

Taters Will They Be A Success?

Taters Will They Be A Success?

KimB Editor

To Knot, or Not to Knot

My interest in Celtic patterns initiated my curiosity in knots and how to tie them. I spent a lot of time watching many YouTube video instructions on tying them. The demonstrations ranged from tying knots for specific uses to decorative ones.

I marveled at the ingenuity and complexity of knots. The Turks Head and variations of the Solomon knot that are used in bracelets really caught my eye. I wasn't really interested in making a bracelet but only learning how the knots were tied in making one. The videos made it look so easy. One could watch each move and twist as the demonstrations showed from beginning to end how to wind cord, around, over and under repeatedly to create a bracelet.

Silver and gold wire can be used to make Turks Head bracelets, but 550 Para cord which comes in many colors was generally used in the YouTube videos. Para cord is lightweight nylon parachute cord rated for 550 lbs of weight.

I decided that a Turks Head bracelet, which looks like there is no beginning or ending, would be my first project. I didn't have para cord so I used knitting yarn. I thought anything you could tie a knot in would work until I had a chance to buy Para cord, but I soon found out working with string or yarn was not going to be easy.

Para cord has the diameter of clothesline rope and the thin wraps of yarn were soon tangled, making me lose track of the 'overs and unders'. Even when I was able to weave one circuit, I would lose the trace and have to start all over. Using Para cord would have made it ezpz, but with yarn, it took me three days of trial and error before I could make them without watching a video.

While learning about the different knots used in making bracelets, I discovered Survival Bracelets. They can be taken apart and the inner strands of nylon can be joined and used as rope if necessary. There is a tiny steel plate, a substitute for flint, that can be used to start a fire with some raveled string that is woven into the bracelet.

Here are some links for great how-to demos:
[editor's note: some of these videos have ads]

Scribd.com Celtic Art Tutorial

Youtube.com Endless Turk's Head Bracelet

Youtube.com Pineapple Knot

Youtube.com Survival Bracelet

Youtube.com Using a Survival Bracelet to make a fire

Yarn Bracelets

Mail

I have a post office box and what little mail I receive these days is retrieved from there and not from any of the other traditional residential mailboxes like a mail slot in the front door or from a big metal box with a small metal flag that's raised when there is out going mail or from a fancy 'one of a kind' mailbox atop a pole planted near the curb showing the house number.

I do have a mail box on the outside of the building near the front door, but there are too many homeless people meandering the neighborhood, and its a known fact that some are tempted to steal mail, hoping to find money.

Incidentally, while mentioning the homeless, I think its disgraceful that this country allows such a condition to exist! As one of the richest countries on the planet, having a single one of its citizens struggling to live without shelter is not only deplorable, but criminal. I keep hearing the excuse that those are people on drugs, but SO WHAT?

But, I digress.

Back to mail.

When I checked my P. O. box on New Years eve, among the stack of Christmas cards was a Burpees 2014 seed catalog What a delightful way to start 2014!!! I prize all seed catalogs that come my way. I spend hours browsing them. They are my 'wishing' book. As a child I browsed the toy pages in Mom and Dad's Sears catalog, but had never heard the Sears catalog called the 'wishing' book, until years later, when I heard my sister Esther call it that. Its certainly an apropos name, and I've usurped it for seed catalogs.

Burpee's catalog is the first of many that I hope will arrive in my mail. Anticipation of them is an incentive to check the post box more often.

Homeless Statistics for the USA

As many as 3.5 million people experience homelessness in a given year (1% of the entire U.S. population or 10% of its poor), and about 842,000 people in any given week.

23% are families with children—the fastest growing segment.
51.3% are single males.
24.7% are single females.
5% are minors unaccompanied by adults.
37 million (or 39%) of the total homeless population are children under the age of 18.

44% report having worked in the past week.
13% have regular jobs.
50% receive less than $300 per month as income

29% report acute health problems.
46% report chronic health conditions.
55% report having no health insurance.
58% report having trouble getting enough food to eat.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homelessness_in_the_United_States

Right hands

Right handed people never realize how much they use their right hand until they are forced, for some reason, to use their left. It's not a problem for those who are ambidextrous, but for the rest of us, its a challenge with a capital C.

On New Years eve, I was attempting to put a large, heavy, steel pan lid on the shelf above the stove, and it slipped off the shelf, dropping down on my forearm with enough force for me to see stars, only I didn't see stars, I saw fireworks!

Doctors in ER did the X-ray, splint routine and sent me home to wait until I could see the Orthopedic Dr after the holiday. While I was in the Orthopedic waiting room, I saw that I was one of many New Years accidents. I was the only one with an arm in a sling, but there was an abundance of braces and crutches.

Learning to use my left hand is a challenge. I've been told that after a few days, using the left hand gets easier and I can tell that even after several days, compensating movements are easier. I have even been able to write letters to my sister that are quite legible. Today my left hand writing was good enough to address the envelope my self.

I don't know exactly how long it will take for my wrist to heal, but I am determined to follow doctor's orders so the time will be shortened as much as possible.


NOT My New Years Resolution

Happy New Year 2014!

A cup of kindness to
one and all
2014

Merry Christmas!

12 Days of Christmas

A Partridge in a Pear Tree

Marzipan and Pumpkin Pie Part 3 by KimB

For holiday dinners I do try to keep it simple. This year I thought I had it dead simple. Silly me.

I'd done all my shopping early, I knew exactly what I was fixing, what I could fix ahead of time, I figured everything out … except, the pumpkin pie part. The one thing I fail at year after year. It's amazing how many ways I can wreck pumpkin pie, I do seem to be able to come up with new variations on awful each season.

This year I thought I would have Advantage Kim by buying a can of premixed organic pumpkin pie filling. It had all the spices, organic sugars and was supposed to be “pour and bake”. I suppose it might actually work that way for someone else, but as I was the one with the can opener something odd was surely about to happen.

No fear. It did.

I had decided to eliminate the pie crust problem with the pie and make a pumpkin custard instead. By removing 50% of the problem making pumpkin pie, which is the crust, I figured I'd be 50% head of the curve.

You do know, statistics lie....

I had downloaded a very simple pumpkin custard recipe from the Internet. Not too many lines. Not too many directions. The picture looked good too. I read the first few ingredients about pumpkin puree, spices and sugar and went Directly To Go. I opened the can of pumpkin pie filling and into a bowl it went. SUCCESS! Oh... wait, 2 eggs... OK, in went the eggs. WOOTS! I was on a roll. The next line was the killer: Evaporated Milk. And you know how that's spelled? Oh @$%#.

I headed for the PC and the Internet again looking up how to make evaporated milk. Lots of recipes, I found one I could do. Evaporated milk is just regular milk cooked down to less volume. I had purchase a small quart of milk as a “just in case” item and this certainly qualified. I duly measured out 2 cups of milk into a saucepan and put it on the stove to reduce.

I waited for it to reduce, stirring, not stirring, removing surface scum. I waited and waited and waited. Dinner time came and went, and I was still waiting and Allen was waiting too. There's not much you can do with milk on the stove, you just have to “watch and wait”. Allen went off to read, nap, play with the cat, eat snacks and wait for dinner while I played with the milk on the stove and waited for it to reduce.

After what seemed like hours, the milk reduced sufficiently and I mixed it into the bowl with the pumpkin pie filling and eggs. It formed a very uninteresting pumpkin colored slurry. I began to realize that yet another pumpkin pie disaster was in serious danger happening. In short, I began to panic. I had to figure out what I could do to avoid it.

I had the custard cups all ready to go. I grabbed the maple syrup from the fridge and poured a nice splotch into the bottom of each cup. I figured it couldn't hurt. Next, I needed something to cover the top of the pumpkin slurry in each cup. Whatever was going to come out of the oven after baking would surely need to be hidden.

It didn't take me long to figure I could kill two disasters at once. I got those chips of marzipan-rock out and put them on top of the pumpkin slurry. I grabbed some of those toasted almonds too and decorated some more with them. Into the oven they went.

While they were baking, I was able to get the rest of the dinner together and we had the traditional everything: turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. A bit later than expected but tasty and filling. We both avoided talking about the custard in the oven.

When the hour was up and I got them out of the oven, they didn't look too bad. In fact they looked pretty good.

Allen said “I'm not trying it....”. Wise man.

After they cooled I wrapped them and put them in the fridge until I got the courage to taste one. Carefully, I spooned up a glob and standing over the sink, just in case, I took a taste.

Hmmm.... Hmmm... Yummmm!!!

I was so excited it tasted good, I forced Allen into trying it. He was surprised to say the least! One bite, two bites, the spoon was moving faster and faster; then he said, “This is the BEST pumpkin pie you've ever made!”

I'm so pumped! I wonder what kind of disaster I can come up with next season?!!!

[Editor's note: This story is Part 3 of 3 and was written by KimB.]

Pumpkin Custard with Marzipan Rock Topping