Many years ago I had just started working in city hall as assistant city manager. City hall is always a busy place, with lots of people coming and going, and of course a large staff working there too.
This city hall was beautiful! There was a lovely atrium entry lobby choc-a-bloc with lovely plants - a virtual garden of eden, however this is not what I want to write about. Down the long main hallway, at a major intersection was a lovely ficus tree - about 3 feet tall in a large decorative floor pot. The star of the hallway was that ficus tree. It was grandly shaped for its size, and virtually perfect!
Many of the offices had sundry plants on desks, or someone near a window would have a panoply of plants thriving and enjoying the sun, but none was as beloved as that poor lone perfect ficus in the hall. Everyone admired that tree, and I had an ideal view of it from my new desk.
As I settled into my new job I could see the ficus was the recipient of lots of attention, and I soon realized that almost everyone walking by the tree would 'tend' it at some point in the day, using everything from actual water to stale coffee, tea, sodas, even gum, gum wrappers, or cigarette butts [which I attributed to some dodgy young folks from the Parks Department]. Unbeknownst to all, this ficus got a lot of liquids in the course of a day!
Well, as you may have guessed, even the hardiest plant can only take so much 'tending' and this kind of TLC.
It wasn't long before the tree was showing signs of distress, and started dropping leaves. Before long the poor thing was bare naked... and almost beyond struggling. There were inter-office memos about - DO this / DON"T do that .. as regards tending this poor tree.
However, no stern memos would deter the determined - i.e. those who 'knew' the plant was too dry and needed more watering ! Office politics and departmental rivalries now went into higher gear. In desperation of this crisis, everyone it seemed increased 'tending' it!
Due to the increasingly heated politics, the various water brigades had to go surreptitious - sneaking cups of water - glancing both ways to see who was watching, and quickly flicking sustenance into the pot as they passed by. If folks noticed me watching I would get a conspiratorial wink – as to say 'just our secret'! There may have been a slowdown on sodas and stale coffees too, but I rather doubt it because now the tree was getting even more drinks daily!
The wrangling over tending the tree went on for a while, but by now the poor tree was clearly just a goner... as in the old western movies ...'He's a goner sherriff' ... and it was apparent that no memos, or stale coffee would ever revive it.
Folks, however, just refused to face reality, so it was still 'watered' with sneaky trips to the water fountain .. and of course the odd stale soda, tea or coffee yet I'm sure. I think people secretly hoped the poor tree would magically revive, but alas, this tree was no Lazarus! It was hard to face the fact that such a grand plant was a 'goner'. The tree was the subject of every water cooler chat in the place. What to do ... what to do?
Then one Monday morning when I came to work, I could see the forlorn ghostly silhouette of the ficus down the hall, but noticed a prominent sign stuck into the soil - a large file card stapeled to an ice cream stick. I went over to look. This mysterious sign – we believe - was put there by the City Manager... and it simply read...
"PLEASE DO NOT WATER ME ANYMORE! - I AM DEAD - AND I LIKE IT THIS WAY"!
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1 comment:
I was given a beautiful ficus and due to my ignorance, I killed it by moving it from room to room. When it started losing leaves, i moved it more frequently and hurried it's demize.
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