Monday, July 11, 2011

The Yankee and the Hot Peppers by KimB

[Editor's note: This story was written by KimB]

I loved visiting my Aunt Esther and Uncle Vernon in Louisiana. I loved seeing the countryside from the tractor as he drove around the ranch doing chores. The lakes, ponds, trees were so different from the redwoods of California were we lived. My Aunt Esther made wonderful meals unlike any I had ever had. Mud Bugs in Mississippi Water was one of my favorites. Bass coated in cornmeal and fried to perfection – well it didn't get better than that!

They were always so nice and Vernon even took his Yankee Niece fishing but he constantly teased us Yankees to try to out-do or out-hunt or out-fish him. This was never going to happen. Vernon would always have the last laugh and stories of how he pulled-the-leg of Yankee visitors became family classics.

Aunt Esther and Uncle Vernon had a wonderful garden. There were rows of tomatoes and loads of veggies. If something was wanted for dinner, it was step outside and pick it off the vine just in time to be served.

Vernon also had hot pepper plants. I remember him warning us to not touch the hot peppers unless we had gloves on. He would eat these hot peppers and challenge us Yankees to try one. I can tell you, they were HOT! At most, you could eat a tiny tiny piece but the tears would flow and soon a glass of cold milk would be pushed into your hand to help ease the pain.

I schemed and schemed about how to prove to Vernon, that I was as good as he was! So, at home, I practiced eating hot peppers. We were living in Mexico at the time and hot peppers were not hard to come by. Slowly I built up a tolerance to hot peppers... Victory was not far away. It was going to be "Score 1 for the Yankees." I just knew it!

On my next visit to Aunt Esther and Uncle Vernon, Vernon brought out the jar of hot peppers from the cupboard. He took one and offered it to me. With a smile I took the jar and fished out a pepper and ate it. Then I fished out a second and a third and a fourth. I waited for my triumph to be complete. Vernon was just watching me.

After I ate the fourth one I said, "See, us Yankees can eat hot peppers too!"

He replied, "Uh-huh, I see. Well, I didn't expect you to eat half the jar though..."

Then with an appraising look at me, he reached into his pocket and handed me the car keys and some money.

"You'd better go down to the market and get a couple of gallons of milk."

I looked at him for a moment; took the car keys, the money and raced to the market for the milk.


Old Joke told to me by Vernon

A Yankee was given some hot peppers to eat. The pain from the hot peppers was terrible. He was told that ice cream would help ease the pain, so he ate a lot of ice cream.

The next day, he could be heard calling from the out-house, "Come on ice cream!"

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed it - brought a smile, recalling the various times I grabbed the ultra hot peppers on mistake! I still love a good pepper though.

Here on the Gulf Coast, they sell a Habanero based hot sauce imported from Mexico with various levels of heat - medium, hot, extra hot, and XXXXX HOT!!!

Believe me when I say one teeny-tiny drop off a toothpick of the 5X sauce is still way too much! Industrial grade heat to the max!

Great story, almost too 'hot' to handle.

Anonymous said...

Just read the blog and how nice it was to read your story. It brought back some very good memories. Thanks for writing them. Love you for making me smile and laugh.

He did love his hot peppers and I never found one hot enough to get back at him to repay him for trying one he said was a " mild one ". Never did believe him after that episode.

Esther

Anonymous said...

I thought 'red hots', little cinnamon candies, were hot until I ate what I thought was a slice of green olive on a piece of pizza. It took a few seconds before I could breath, much less talk.