El Rancho S-OH-S Part 01 by KimB

Episode: The Lot

Nearly every time you turn on the TV you see one of those Fix It Up House programs showing how ezpz it is to swap your old humdrum boring house for a super swanky fab house with hardly a fuss to your shellacked coiffure or chip in the 4 inch long manicured finger nails.

So, not to be out done or under done, I am jumping the shark a bit to post about my own project:

An undeveloped 5 acre lot
Located about 1 hour east of Fresno, California.

Well, it's not much a project at the moment, but I do own the dirt and trees and as there isn't anything else, except the local wild life, that lives there, I haven't dented anything except my bank account.

The PLAN

To build a small house using green renewable technologies with a lot of old fashioned know how.

The IDEA

I am now moving past the middle part of older-personhood, I want a small house where things are comfortable but not so grand or swank. I no longer have need for many things that builders put in housing, like a second floor. I am not hosting grand dinners and country getaways for the rich and famous, just ordinary suppers so I don't need dining space to seat 400 for Sunday Afternoon Brunches.

The BUDGET

This is easy: NONE.

As the old saying goes you can make a small fortune in race horses. Provided you start with a large fortune, you can change it to a small one.

Since I have no fortune to begin with, small is closer to none at all.

I am planning on many things but how much I will be able to accomplish is going to be the interesting part of the project. Lots of ideas about how to spend money I don't have. Saves a lot of wear and tear on the finger nails when the price tag goes beyond the cost of a burger and fries.

The OUT

Well, every project has an "out" where things get so muddled up, everyone throws up their hands and gives up. The TV shows don't show you many of those but one can guess that the Big Home Lumber Stores aren't making money because things worked out the first time.

Years back there was an old saying:

It takes 3 trips to the hardware store to fix something.

Trip 1: You buy what you think you need.
Trip 2: You buy what you forgot to buy on Trip 1.
Trip 3: You buy replacement parts for things you broke trying to fix the something.

I would add

Trip 4: Return all the unused items you bought in Trips 1, 2 and 3.

The OUT is to just stop. I may not be able to achieve what I want. I don't have a time table, other than before I die, so if things don't work out, well they don't work out. The dirt and trees and wild life won't mind at all if I don't move in with them.

Rather than tell you all the grand things and how ezpz things are, I figured it might be a bit more entertaining to explain all the items you do not see on those 30 Minutes to Masterpiece Reveals, that are de rigueur. Since this is an on-going project, be prepared for more shifts and turns and jumps than a Down Hill Ski Racer.



The Lot