El Rancho S-OH-S Part 05 by KimB

Episode Invest in a Paper Mill

It might be a good idea to invest in a Paper Mill¹ or seriously consider doing so.

While the mantra of The Paperless Office² only made the amount of paper use increase, the concept of less paper has not actually hit those in charge of building things.

They are trying though.
 They haven't succeeded.

There is an enormous amount of paper needed to get anywhere near where you want to get to. Plans, sketches, plot maps, materials lists, structural details, statements of operational intent and an infinite list of other things are needed.

Not only are these lists infinite, you have to have provide multiple sets of everything: 2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 for starters. Every group that has a say-so in the process, has their own infinite lists and varying numbers of duplicates needed.

I think the only single item is the check with the required fees when you hand over the tidal wave of paper.

You will want to use a hand written check because there are tack-on fees to cover the bank surcharges when plastic is used for payment.

You might need to learn/relearn how to write in cursive to do this. Block letters just doesn't cut the mustard.³

There is also the counter problem of mass pulped trees ⁴ with ink on them which is that once things go IN the computer they may or may not come out again.

Some items are Sort of In
 and some items are Sort of Out.

Which causes a hysterical effect of:

But But But I DID! I DID!

followed by

hmmm hmmm
OH! There it is (or isn't)

There is an enormous amount of information that is in these systems. Absolutely mind boggling considering the number of dead mushed trees that are required for submission. How they find anything at all in the morass is astonishing. Which of course, they may not because computers are error prone and are not smart enough to recognize that a typo or misclick has sent something into the wrong folder, the wrong account, the wrong project.

It's like the old playground game:

• Lost Paper moves you back.
• Old Paper trumps Lost Paper.
• New Paper moves you forward.

You might want to bring a hand truck.⁵

References

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paper_mill
2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paperless_office
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cursive
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Block_letters
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cut_the_mustard
4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wood_pulp
5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand_truck

Stack of Paper