When ya gotta go – ya gotta go !!! by Anno Nymus

When ya gotta go – ya gotta go !!!

a true story from back in the day ...

by Anno Nymus

Avatar was a 2009 blockbuster movie – theaters were full – lines were long !

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After watching the 3 hour blockbuster movie “Avatar” with some friends at the local multiplex, and after all the sitting, snacks and soda .. well, like everyone else ... me, and my 3 mates really had to pee after the movie !!! 

Of course, the restroom lines snaked out to the main corridor. 

Hmmm … there was no prayer of making it to the car and holding it till we all got to the restaurant. There was nothing for it but get in line for that great post movie adventure known as the multiplex mensroom.  Reluctantly, but with urgency, the 4 of us got in line!

Once we made it inside the cavernous restroom, it was the old standard; washbasins on right - stalls with doors on the left, and a  row of 20 urinals with basins-bowls, beyond the washstands.

All the stalls and urinals  had several men waiting for each ! Wow and yikes !! Seems there were only about 100-ish of us milling around - waiting to use any one of them --  NOW !!!!

Tick tock, tick tock, 1-2 cha-cha-cha …

There was a steady stream of flushing .. hand washing, and rushing out … industrial scale urination station rotation … but alas, it takes a certain amount of time for everyone just to do what they gotta do, and those of us in line were starting to worry about how long it was all taking .

Suddenly the door bursts open with a bang, and a cute blonde boy about 6 years old - in shorts - pushed thru, and past us – but stopped cold when he saw the lines !

He was already 'dancing', and holding his crotch with his hand, and obviously really had to pee ! His agitation and obvious consternation got some attention. 

He let out a loud “OH NO !!!” ... which got everyone's attention.

We all sympathized with the poor kid – we all had to pee badly, and were quietly doing our own dancing … Tick tock, tick tock. 1-2 cha-cha-cha …

In despair, and about to burst, he was getting that panicky look in his eyes - 'what can I do' !??! – just then – like clouds parting for the sun in a storm – a man flushed, and stepped away from a nearby urinal - an opening!

The guys in that queue were watching sympathetically, and quickly motioned to the kid to jump line - and go next !

The kid took a step forward - but paused. There was an immediate problem.

It was an adult urinal -  the bowl was a foot higher than his crotch !! 

Glancing to the right, he confirmed the single lower kids urinal was occupied with 2 waiting. 

Out of time !! What to do??

Suddenly his expression said “light-bulb!" - with a huge grin, and exclaimed  “GOT IT !!!”

In a blink - and all in one motion - he took a half step back from the urinal … shoved  his shorts down past his ankles,  hollered “sorry 'bout my butt!" - all whilst gauging 'n eyeballing the  physics of  getting a stream up ,over, and INTO the urinal – he then arched backwards ...  waaay back .. and .. let GO !!!

A 'golden arch' suddenly appeared!  A stream of pee was arc-ing up, from his crotch ... and over the lip, and directly into the urinal 3 feet away – bullseye !!  direct hit !!! – A rousing cheer went up in the room from all those watching !! His aim was true ! 

It was classic – he held that pose ...  and kept that 3 foot stream arc-ing perfectly  - for the longest time. For all the world, he looked just like that classic statue of a youth peeing into a pond that we have all seen!**

It was brilliant!The whole room - dozens of  men and boys - burst into spontaneous cheers, hoots and applause ! The place was abuzz with admiration.

When he was done .. he pulled up his shorts .. turned around grinning and took a bow! Everyone was laughing, applauding and telling him how well he handled that !! Atta Boy – You Go Kid ! Future NASA Engineer! Problem Solving 101 ! Well Done!! Kudos !! Bravo etc !!!

He quickly rinsed his hands – and with an impish grin waved to the room, then disappeared out the door and was gone as quickly as he had burst in !

The mensroom was still laughing and abuzz with chatter about his performance when we all finally exited … alas ... a very long 15 minutes or so later. 

Now it was finally off to the restaurant for us, but as we left, I thought to myself what a brilliant scene for a Mel Brooks movie titled ... 

"When ya gotta go .. ya gotta go !"

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Footnote: stranger than fiction

Japan – the famous “Peeing Gorge Statue ” National Park widely imitated in pond statues. A bronze statue commemorates the spot, where by ancient traditions in days of yore, to show fearlessness, youth would climb up, and pee over the edge.

Peeing Gorge Statue