Good bye Mr. Crane – Hello Summer, and Junior High !
by Anno Nymus
whilst he was out of the room .. the class clown ... Albert C ..slowly rose out of his seat in a half crouch, while eyeballing the discussion in the hall thru the little window...
His sudden movement got all our attention. We could see him gauging how much time he had before Mr Crane stepped back into the room, and then he suddenly rose, seeing that Mr Crane had his back to the room for a moment.
Albert rushed up to Mr Crane's desk … put something down, and scurried back to his front row seat to avoiding detection, then doing the classic silent whistling – 'I didn’t do anything', and innocently glancing around the room. Exactly as he was sitting back down, Mr. Crane came back in, and slightly detected the movement and sensed something was up ..
We had no clue what Albert had put on the desk, but he was chortling to himself and sort of indicating we should watch what happens next.
You have to appreciate that Albert was a burgeoning juvenile delinquent.
Albert was always in trouble, but had a cavalier attitude about it. He was a skilled liar - having much experience talking his way out of various jams: smoking, loitering in the hall and generally moving at his own tempo. He probably grew up to be a gangster – or a lawyer. Albert was a clown , and had a bit of 'I can get away with it' swagger in his walk.
Let me describe the Home Room
As we faced front, Mr Crane's desk was on the far left facing the class with the big blackboard behind him. His desk was along the front wall of 7 foot windows with transoms, overlooking the front lawn.
This was Home Room, a checking in room for an hour before regular classes, where roll was taken and announcements and notices read, and last minutes could be applied to homework needing to be completed (or quickly copied) -- to hand in later that day.
All of us were about 12-13 years old – and mostly boys – but typically unruly as we were wont to be in the late 1950's – being 'rock n roll rebels' in Hollywood … and flexing our new found rebelliousness and increasing disregard for regulations. We were often shocking the old folks.
First bell rang at 6:50, meaning 10 minutes to get to your room, get settled and seated by the 7 o'clock bell.. To Mr Crane, Home Room started at 7 sharp!
When the bell rang, we were to be in our seats, sitting up, alert, quiet, and paying rapt attention to the front notices on the blackboard, while Mr Crane would commence taking the roll !
We did none of those things!!!
He would berate and harangue any infractions, and woe unto late comers or stragglers – they were to be in their assigned seat, attentive, quiet, and ready for the day before the bell rang at 7!
We didn’t do that.
Mr Crane – old, be-speckled, and befuddled .. seemed about 85 to us and as alien as someone from another century – which he was – and frequently reminded us that we were his very last home room class. He was looking forward to retiring. We were glad, and couldn't wait.. he was literally .. stern and far too OLD SCHOOL !!
He was a few years past his ability to control the class. Authoritarian efforts attempted – to no avail . He was set in cement . We were incorrigible.
He was what we thought of as strict and mean – which now I appreciate as probably old age. To us he didn’t appreciate anything new or different – it was the 1950's!
Life was rockin' n rollin' just like our new battery powered transistor radios ! The media for social interaction of the 50's. It bumfuzzled Mr C if you were listening to a radio waiting for the opening bell.
We would gang around the person with the best transistor radio .. and we'd listen to radio KFWB – channel 98 - DJ's spinning those platters... in the hall waiting for the bell.
Records 'n Spinning Platters : 78 rpm was being replaced by 45 rpm for us kids n teens, and 33 rpm hi-fi long play for the adults . The world was changing ,and Mr Crane – with his charge of inquisitive and motivated students – wasn’t up to the challenge. we were his last class.
We got the 1930 stuff... but needed the 1950 stuff … he thought a lot differently than we did... I now realize that was just a massive generational gap. He expected us to be like his 1930 students. He had started in 1928, and had been teaching for 30 years by 1958 !
We were definitely not like his 1930 students! Especially with Albert leading the mischief.
Now... Back to the story.
Albert just barely got into his seat when Mr C came back in – immediately sensing something was up.He went toward his desk – with the precious Log Book ... scanning the class for hints of what was up !?
Before I proceed, and reveal what Mr Crane was about to see, it should here be noted that his cursive penmanship was magnificent!
His Roll Book - “ The Master Log”, was flowery and beautiful. He had perfect cursive, and used an old dip pen .. that old kind with gold nibs that you dipped into an ink well. It looked like he had written the Declaration of Independence.
His attendance book was meticulously kept .. every entry perfectly scribed – Present/Here, Tardy/late, sick , excuses, grades .. a perfect log book. He prided himself on how well he kept the attendance record. It was in fact our 'permanent record' he would say .. so he took great care to make each quill penned entry perfect .. and blotted.
We mostly all took great care to avoid that any negative entries be made about us … it was after all the 'permanent record' .. well, all except for Albert and the incorrigible bunch – a small group that took another tack. They thrived on how many entries they had !
Note here that Mr Crane's weapon of control was -- the constant threat of making an entry in the attendance book under our name ! A typical threat might include picking up the book to demonstrate intent .. and if serious .. reach for the dip pen! The threat of entry in this book .. did surprisingly well to keep most of us mild -1950's rebels - at bay .. except for Albert.
Important Aside: we must here note – The Farmers Market
We lived pretty close to the famous Farmers Market by the CBS TV studios .. and we often wandered thru the stalls window shopping and looking at the various products after school or lazy weekends, but a favorite stall .. was the scientific and gag toy shop .. solar driven whirlygigs .. tin spoonbill birds , endlessly and repeatedly dipping their beaks into a glass of water – popping up and doing it over n over. Of course to 12 year olds guys, the rubberized plastic, realistic looking .. fake barf / fake dog poop / fake pee puddles held special scatological allure, and potential laughs galore ! Wow !! They look so real !!
This is about the place I should mention – this was the last day of school before summer! Only 6 classes to go and … FREEDOM !!! but first … one last Home Room ..ugh .. and 45 more minutes … tick tock tick tock …
Back to the tale …
Albert is smugly watching as Mr Crane approaches his desk .. stops cold .. turns beet red .. faces the class .. and says ..
“Who threw up on my desk ????? “ SPEAK UP .. THAT IS DISGUSTING .. STEP UP NOW AND CLEAN THIS UP !!! NOW !!!
Mr C was .. tapping his toes .. we all squirmed uncomfortably – but now we know what Albert did .. and its a riot .. but we are smart enuff to stifle the chuckles .. but its tough .. He thinks its real .. we know it cant be !
Mr C is pacing and fuming now .. “OK I'm going to get the Principal and we will settle this once and for all .. whoever is responsible will be held accountable .. the Master Log book is ruined !!!
He turned and left the room to fetch the Principal ..!
Quick as a rabbit .. Albert jumps up .. runs to the desk and grabs the rubberized fake barf .. holds is up and shows it to all of us, then throws it out the 7 foot window transom .. and it fly’s out toward the front lawn into some bushes ..
Albert returns to his seat giggling .. we are all laughing and hooting. Soon Mr Crane and the Principal return … and we instantly sit bolt upright, silent, and awaiting doom! 'Rapt' would be about it !
Mr Crane says to the Principal “come here and see what they did to the Master Log Book !” … and then notices that nothing is amiss .. and starts too look around .. seeing that nothing is wrong .. no barf !?!?! … now he IS bumfuzzled .. and the Principal is a bit disconcerted .. what IS going on here Mr Crane ?
Mr Crane demands to know who 'cleaned it up '?? … no one stirs .. and clearly the Log isn’t wet or damp .. with no sign of anything awry .. The Principal soon exits scratching his head, ..
Mr Crane is taken aback and sits down in total consternation .. he asks a few of the teacher pets if they know anything .. no one speaks up …
We get a lecture on civil manners and courtesy, rules of social behavior, and social norms not to be broken, or taken lightly .. then we were told to work quietly till the bell rings.
Mr C sits down .. looks directly at Albert .. says .. "I know you were behind this .. but I cant figure out how you cleaned it up !? … I'm glad this is my last day!".
Just then the bell rang .. Albert jumped up .. Yelled "HAPPY SUMMER !" .. and raced out the door escaping any further 3rd degree… we all thanked Mr Crane , and wished him a good summer .. and ...left the 6th grade !
Next stop Summer and Junior High !
We all had a good laugh at Mr Cranes expense – no harm no foul – the precious LOG BOOK OF LIFE was still virginal .. but there it was .. summer was on us and we didn’t have time to be contrite .. that bit catches up with us all …much later.
I sometimes wonder if Albert became a politician, gangster or famous attorney!? Mr Crane got out at the right time, and all I know is that I escaped elementary school, and I was now looking forward to joining the junior toilet washer brigade - as we called the 7th graders !?
Hello Junior High .... and ... Summer here we come !!!
End
No comments:
Post a Comment