Of course there are many documentaries now about exactly how they do it. It really IS rocket science and they know moment to moment what is and is not supposed to happen. Of course, the “Royals” spend their lives having to do it day in and day out, most of the rest of us, get one or two days in our lives to “have a go”. One almost universal event is: The Wedding.
Weddings have always been a bit of mystery to me and I never really “got it”. I remember as a young teenager listening to my female cousins and friends describe the kind of wedding they wanted. There were lots of ideas about dresses, veils, which church, garden parties, receptions, the number of guests and all the other items that go into the modern wedding ceremony. I sat mostly glazed over with boredom until we would decide to do something more my speed, like go to a movie or down to The Mall for a hamburger.
As my cousins grew up, they in turn got married and many had their dream weddings or had redesigned them to meet new circumstances and desires. Whether it was luck or not, I never had to attend them. We moved frequently, and when wedding costs began to spiral, it was just fine with me if I wasn't on the “invite” list. Even as an adult, with my close friends, I preferred to wait until after they returned from their travels and then have a get together to hear about their adventures in a more relaxed setting. My happiness and best wishes for them was no less and it didn't require my presence “at THE moment”.
When I met Allen, I knew from the start that he was a “special” person. I don't think it was “love at first sight”, but it was pretty clear that we had a bond from our first meeting. We started to spend some time together and we had many discussions about our age difference. Having a December/May relationship needed some serious thought before either of us were willing to commit to any type of romantic involvement. In due course, we decided to give it a trial and began our lives together.
One evening, Allen called to me, “Kim, I need to talk to you.”
This generally meant that some financial or other aspect of home life needed a conference. So, I sat next to him on the couch and waited for him to explain what needed to be reviewed. He looked extremely uncomfortable and I just waited for him to begin. After some moments, he fished into a pocket and handed me a jewelry box. Allen had given me jewelry before but this was obviously a ring box and he nodded for me to open it. Inside was a beautiful sapphire ring with several small diamonds around it. I knew Allen didn't like diamonds and preferred the corundum stones like rubies and sapphires, so I wasn't surprised at the stone but I was surprised at how uncomfortable he seemed and it was clear that this ring was not just “any” ring.
“Is there a speech that is supposed to go with this?” I asked him.
It took him a few more moments to gather his wits and voice and then he said, “Kim, will you marry me?”
Well, there wasn't any doubt or hesitation on my part about the answer: “YES!” it was.
Soon after I graduated from college, the day came when we decided to actually get married and we sat together to figure out how and when to do it. Allen was most relieved that I did not want a big wedding or lots of guests or fancy reception. I wanted it to be as simple as possible and no fuss. We decided that Reno would be the best place: fast, close by and not that expensive.
We picked a date and gathered two of Allen's closest friends to be our witnesses and we headed to Reno for the weekend. It was a hot and clear day when we arrived and we followed the signs to city hall to get the paper work. We stood in line with other couples waiting for the clerks to handle whatever paper work was needed. It took a goodly while before we got to the top of the queue and we were getting very nervous as we approached the clerk. Papers where stamped and signatures were required. I signed first but Allen hesitated and looked in a panic.
I asked him, “Are you having second thoughts?”
“No,” he replied. “My hand is shaking too much to hold the pen.”
We had a nervous giggle and he managed to sign the papers needed.
Our plan had been to get the paper work, go to the motel and dress up in some nice clothes and come back later on to have the paper's formalized in one of the many wedding places around the city hall. But it was very hot and both Allen and I felt extremely nervous, so I suggested that we just do it “right now”. I figured, we would both be even more nervous in a few hours and standing around in 100 degree heat in a suit and tie for him and a wool jacket and skirt for me was just going to make things worse. So, we looked around to see what was near by.
We skipped the Elvis Drive Thru Chapel and selected another one that had a small white building with a nice lawn and some trees around it. Allen left to park the car in a longer term parking area and I went across the road to make the arrangements. My confusion was about to be complete.
When I went into the building a nice woman greeted me and I told her that I wanted to get married and showed her the papers from the city hall. I told her my soon-to-be husband was parking the car and could she please explain how much it would cost and the process.
Well, like most good sales people she started with: How many guests, flowers etc etc etc. I said I didn't want any of that, I just wanted to get married and there were only the 4 of us. She started again offering more “options” like wedding pictures and reception party. I told her I didn't want any of that either. I was beginning to panic because it was starting to sound like all the old childhood conversations my cousins and friends had had and it was getting more and more complicated.
Finally, I said, “I just want a Generic Wedding. Can you do that?”
She looked a bit stunned and said, “Well, I've never heard it called that before but yes we can do something simple.”
I felt relieved and expected her to just stamp my paper work so we could go on to our evening plans of dinner and a show (our wedding gift from our friends). Unfortunately, you cannot just get your paper work stamped. I am still at a total loss about why not, but it seems that someone has to say “words” or it isn’t valid. She was quite adamant about it, some one has to say “words” and only then can the paper work be stamped. I said I would pay for whatever but couldn't we just skip “the words” part? Alas, the answer was no.
So, Allen and I and our two friends were shown into the chapel area and a nice man came out and started the “standard speech”. I don't know how I lasted thru it but I did. In due course the speech was over, the “I Do”s were done and the paper work stamped. I couldn't wait to leave the building and recover under the cool shade of the trees.
My wedding attire was a pair of old jeans, cowboy boots and a Cal State Hayward sweatshirt. Allen was wearing an old pair of corduroy pants and plain shirt. I couldn't have been happier!
I don't know how anyone lasts thru a long and complicated ceremony. My 10 minutes or so of “being the center of attention” was way way more than I ever wanted. The outcome of our nervousness and panic has lasted more than 30 years now and Allen and I still laugh about our “Generic Wedding”.
[Editor's note: This story was written by KimB]
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| Not Like The 1947 Royal Wedding |
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