During Labor Day weekend 2013, 300 teenagers broke into and trashed the home belonging to Brian Holloway in Stephentown, N.Y. The teenagers took photos of themselves and each other as the $20,000 damage was occurring and posted them on Twitter, along with running in-progress dialog.
Holloway, an ex NFL player, invited the teenagers to come help clean and repair the damage, urging the them to take responsibility for their actions and for the community to come together to help them learn to make better decisions and re-direct their lives as they are on the cusp of serious implications for their own futures: drugs, alcohol and more serious criminal activities.
Holloway re-posted the photos and dialog from Twitter on a web site http://www.helpmesave300.com/ where he asks the public to help him save the 300 teens by teaching and guiding them to a more responsible path.
The teenagers' parents voiced criticism of Holloway's re-posting the photos on his website. Some threatening lawsuits and other retaliations for reposting the original photos and tweets. One of the student's tweeted during the event: "So glad my parents don't give a f### what I do".
Vandalism isn't just about property damage. It damages the lives of those directly impacted both the victims and perpetrators. It's a long lasting and life changing event.
In the era of social media and the desire to be "first post!", this is a window into the real views of the teens which is unhindered and not self-censored, with no parental interference. The images and tweets are global and cannot be retracted. They are what they are. They will be there forever because that is the nature of the internet. Nothing is ever removed permanently. There's always a backup somewhere with the images and tweets.
Parents need to be concerned about the effects however, pretending that their children didn't do anything wrong or denying their actions doesn't set a very positive example. Getting "caught" isn't the punishment. The teens are already "caught". It's about why did they think that it was "OK" to start with? Some of the vandals were not children or teens, they are adults over 18 and became negative role models to the others. Why did any of the 300 think it was OK to trash the house of friend, neighbor, schoolmate, teammate, resident? Why do the parents think it is OK to deny the implications of the actions in and for their own family, friends, school and community?
As of 9/22/2013, 4 of the 300 have helped restore the damage done; the community did come together and helped repair the house. 4 maybe not seem to be a large number, but that's 4 teens and their families who understood the importance what happened and the need for change. There are 296 more lives that need to be turned around.
The parents of the 296 need to "give a f###" about their children and show that they do care. That they care for themselves, their children, their lives and the community.
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Not infrequently there are scandals about cheating at exam time. Sometimes these scandals happen at our finest and best military academies where the graduates will be come officers in charge of the lives of the service personnel under their command and these officers will become the generals of the future.
When the scandals explode there's often a call out for those that participated to come forward and to admit to what happened. Rarely do more than a few come forward.
Those few that do come forward are summarily expelled by the academies and often reviled by their military cadet brethren.
But, I always wondered about the majority who did not come forward. Those that hid in the shadows and let the lash fall on their brother and sister cadets. What about these men and women who go on to graduate and become officers in our military? What type of officers are they? What kind of role models do they become?
Eventually they become generals and leaders of great importance holding the lives of their troops and the lives of thousands of civilians in their hands.
Their lives are based on lies and to say the least: a lack of bravery. They cannot be more than the lies they tell themselves: I did what everyone else was doing.
Instead of celebrating the few cadets that come forward and giving them full support for their honesty about a poor decision with tempered justice, they are punished in the extreme for being truthful. The message is clear to all the rest: lie, cheat, steal and hide at all costs.
This scenario is played out in many venues. We see it today in the lies of the Director of National Intelligence (DNI) and the General in charge of the National Security Agency (NSA).
The culture of "avoiding getting caught" becomes the culture of "the lie".
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