Spell Checkers by KimB

I cannot type.

I cannot type fast.

I cannot type without making errors.

In the online games I play, we call this "typonese". It comes from a) not knowing how to spell and b) from trying to type a lot of information in a short time to another player. Most players understand whatever it is you are typing just the same.

Spell checkers help but sometimes you have the problem that if you don't know how to spell it to start with you can't find the correct word to use.

Google has started to add a dictionary to search results. I guess they figured out that a lot of people like me, use Google as a dictionary, just to find the correct spelling of a word.

Spell checkers are like GPS systems, they can only take you places you already know about. It's hard to get a GPS to show you the directions for: I-Want-To-Go-That-A-Way. With spell checkers it's hard to get them to show you: How-Do-You-Spell-The-I-Dunno-How-To-Spell-It-Word.

[Editor's note: This story was written by KimB.] 

The Spell Chequer Poem

Eye have a spelling chequer,
It came with my Pea Sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss Steaks I can knot sea.

Eye strike the quays and type a whirred
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am write oar wrong
It tells me straight a weigh.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your shore real glad two no.
Its vary polished in its weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.

A chequer is a bless thing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right all stiles of righting,
And aides me when eye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The chequer pours o'er every word
Two cheque sum spelling rule.

The original version of this poem was written by Jerrold H. Zar in 1992. An unsophisticated spell checker will find little or no fault with this poem because it checks words in isolation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spell_checker