El Rancho S-OH-S Part 09 by KimB

Episode The Draft

Images of people marching with signs and chanting

FREEDOM, PEACE, PEOPLE POWER, END THE WAR!

Images of young men (and now women too), lined up bare-ass-nekked,

waiting INSPECTION

Images of warm afghans with bright colors and fanciful designs

staying WARM

Act 1 Scene 9 The Draft
sound effect: opening hot coffee thermos hiss

Glug	100 feet
Moi	ah? what?
Glug	100 feet
Moi	of signs?
Glug	no, 100 feet of draft
Moi	100 feet of BEER?
Glug	no no 100 feet of pipe
Moi	I don't smoke

End Act 1 Scene 9 The Draft
sound effect: glug glug glug

Fire Safety Draft Water:
The process of raising water
from a static source to supply a fire engine pumper is known as drafting.

Fire Safety Draft Requirements

Winter

My daughter and I chat frequently by phone since we live many miles apart. We share news of our latest endeavors, and I always ask about her horse. I hear about its training, how the vet visits go, and how the special horse shoes work that help strengthen certain muscles.

Today we mostly talked about how nice the weather was for riding and without giving it much thought I asked if she thought there would be a severe winter this year. She mentioned that it might be since her horse was getting a winter coat.

I immediately concluded that horses were fantastic weather barometers.

Later I researched information about horses and winter coats. It turns out that horses are not triggered to grow a winter coat by temperatures, but by photoperiods. As the hours of daylight decrease, they start to grow longer, coarser coats that become very dense. The hairs stand on end, becoming fluffy and trapping warm air close to the body, insulating it from frigid temperatures, winds, snow and ice. The density of the coat doesn't allow water to penetrate so a horse will stay warm when its raining.

Winter coats typically lasts from September to May. As the daylight increases, the coat begins to loosen and shed usually in late December. It won't be obvious though until much later.

I should have realized that if horses could predict weather, we would have been using that info starting when dirt was invented!

Icelandic Horse in Heavy Snow

Jimmie Rogers -- In Kerrville Texas -- part 2 by Anno Nymus

Jimmie Rogers – Part 2

The Father of Country Music, and Kerrville, Texas

For many years I've been curious about exactly where Jimmie Rogers lived in Kerrville Texas.

I first experienced Kerrville when I nearly bought a wonderful old 1920's stone house there yeas ago. It was on a hilltop and even had ramparts. Built with that famous white Texas limestone, it had beautiful stone work, and was almost a castle by any definition. It had the most amazing 360 degree view of the famed hill country. I made quite a few trips there at that time for the due diligence, and fell in love with the place, and Kerrville ... but I digress. Part of the Kerrville allure was a tidbit of a history mystery I had picked up years before.

The famous “Yodeling Brakeman” Jimmie Rogers* had lived in Texas for a time, and I subsequently learned it was in Kerrville.

I knew of Kerrville originally in the 1970's because of the famous music festivals. This was long before the internet of course, so back then it was hard to find information without doing a lot of serious gumshoe detective work, and on site research. I never had the time to pursue it, although my brief house hunting venture rekindled my curiosity. I never really found out much more about his time in Texas until just recently.

Fast forward 30 years …

Now that we have the internet, all that mystery disappeared magically and effortlessly the other night when, on a whim, I casually asked a search engine – “Where did Jimmie Rogers live in Texas ?”. In moments the answer populated my screen, and answered a question I've been puzzling on since the 1970's !

First, let me comment that I am always gobsmacked and amazed at the arcane information that resides literally at finger tip command these days within a simple hand held device! It's an amazing new world ! Star Trek realized .. a communicator multi-tool ! It's so easy. Whenever I have a question, just a few keystrokes into my mobile phone can retrieve the most astounding information instantly. It's a brave new whirl ?! Check the footnotes to see what else turned up.

Huge thanks for my answer goes to Hillbilly Hideaways, and their great site – featuring homes of the great country music stars ! ***

The answer was simply – 617 West Main Street, Kerrville – “The Blue Yodelers Paradise” as he named it, and it's still there !

Jimmie Rodgers Home ~ 1928-1932 "The Blue Yodelers Paradise" ***

617 W. Main Street, Kerrville,Texas

• The Singing Brakeman shared this 2,601 sq. ft. home with his wife and daughter until shortly before his death in 1933, when they relocated to Montrose Ave in San Antonio.
• After the stock-market crash, Rodgers was ailing financially as well as physically, and had to sell the house in 1933 just before his death. “Mrs. Jimmie Rodgers and her daughter Anita Rodgers Court have sold their fabulous Kerrville mansion, “Blue Yodelers’ Paradise”, purchased during her husband’s glory days as a nationally famous Victor recording artist, and moved to a smaller house in San Antoine.”(sic) LaFourche Gazette
• On May 26, 1933, he died of tuberculosis in his room at the Taft Hotel in NYC, while there for Victor recording sessions.

"The Blue Yodelers Paradise" 2015 ***

Alas, this lovely brick house was not the limestone castle I had nearly purchased years ago. Still, Kerrville remains a favorite place of mine, and a highly popular weekend getaway location with its' music festivals, beautiful vistas, cool breezes, and Guadalupe river cutting through town. Folks come from all over just to go 'tubing on the river', and enjoy the 'hill country'. Next time I pass through Kerrville on I-10, I'm definitely going to pull off and find the 'Blue Yodelers Paradise', and take a selfie !

It'll be one more item checked off my bucket list !

* * *

Notes

*** House photographs – then and now, thanks to Hillbilly Hideaways for their great site – homes of many famous country stars. Fascinating and wonderful photographs.

https://www.facebook.com/hillbillyhideaways/photos/a.684593708317335/699377366838969/?type=3&theater

**** The Carter Family Visits Jimmie Rogers in Kerrville, Texas – 1928 'Live' 78 rpm recording on YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNdYoTR_dkE

Jimmie Rogers -- The Singing Brakeman -- part 1 by Anno Nymus

Jimmie Rogers – 'The Singing Brakeman' – Part 1

Jimmie Rogers was a hero of mine – and I learned many of his songs growing up.

In the 1980's I was performing at a private event and did a bunch of old Jimmie Rogers songs: “T for Texas”, “Brakeman’s Blues”, “He's in the Jailhouse Now”, “Goodbye Ol' Pal”, 'California Blues' and a few others. At the intermission, an older man came up to me and introduced himself and complimented me on the old songs, and said it was fun to hear them again !

That sparked a nice chat about Jimmie Rogers and his songs. He told me that many years previously – he had heard Jimmie Rogers many times in person – at various informal settings and performances when he was a young railroad worker. He said with a growing smile that Jimmie knew really dirty versions of all of his songs, as well as other popular ribald old blues, and workers songs – so dirty “.. it made you blush” he said with a grin !

He continued with a twinkle in his eye, saying that Jimmie learned those dirty songs from the various railroad crews and work gangs he was around. They loved it when he would stop and sing, entertain, and regale them with his stories. The old man continued on, saying that Jimmie was a big kidder and had an impish nature. He was a great joke and dirty story teller, saying Jimmie would have everyone rolling in stitches, and howling with laughter with his wild and ribald jokes, tales and songs.

The man continued on and told me some brief snippets and punch lines of Jimmie's comedy bits. They were indeed really funny, and even made me blush – but alas, after all these years they are gone from memory as much as I'd love to regale you with them. I remember though that I sure did laugh – and blush!

I enjoy the image of Jimmie in a railroad yard delighting a bunch of rowdy roustabouts, and roughnecks, with ribald ballads and stories. The man said “...men and women, and all folks just flocked to be near Jimmie like a magnet. He was a real showman. He was a real star ! ”

You can get a feel for his live show presence if you listen to the banter and joking on the 'live' 78 recording – “The Carter Family visits Jimmie Rogers in Kerrville, Texas.” **** The Carter Family was based in nearby Del Rio Texas where they could broadcast nationwide. They admire his new mansion, and he jokes about his 'little shack' – where he can practically see Mexico – and kids around about getting chickens from the yard for dinner. In the 1920's Jimmie Rogers and the Carter Family were the founding artists that created 'Country Music' ! The Kerrville house was a hotbed of such country music in those days.

“T for Texas, T for Tennessee … 'cause any old place I hang my hat – is home sweet home to me”

*Jimmie Rogers – 'The Yodeling Brakeman', and 'Father of Country Music' – inducted into:

The Country Music Hall of Fame – The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame –

Blues Hall of Fame – Songwriters Hall of Fame

***

 **** The Carter Family Visits Jimmie Rogers in Kerrville, Texas – 1928 'Live' 78 rpm recording on YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNdYoTR_dkE

El Rancho S-OH-S Part 08 by KimB

Episode Oh Cadastre!

There is an old poem by A.A. Milne that I love because of its logic puzzle.

 Halfway Down
by A.A. Milne 1924 ¹

Halfway down the stairs
is a stair
where i sit.
there isn't any
other stair quite like
it.


i'm not at the bottom,
i'm not at the top;
so this is the stair
where
I always
stop.


Halfway up the stairs
Isn't up
And it isn't down.
It isn't in the nursery,
It isn't in town.
And all sorts of funny thoughts
Run round my head.
It isn't really
Anywhere!
It's somewhere else
Instead!

One of the aspects of the poem is: "How do you know WHERE you are"; which leads to all sorts of interesting problems and issues.

Trying to locate WHERE is a very old problem, probably as old as when the first hominids realized they could bludgeon another hominid to claim the spot that one was sitting on. Watching our cats sort out their eating bowls is much the same. They all get the same food but somehow they just "know" that the food in that OTHER dish is better. They rotate around the bowls sampling the same fare.

The odd thing about WHERE, is that we both know and we don't know. I know where my pile of dirt IS but I don't know WHERE it is. There is a significant difference between the two.

The main method humans use to determine WHERE are maps. Wolves just pee their territory markers and other wolves recognize the claim, but humans are sadly lacking in that olfactory department and peeing isn't recognized as a legal marker. So we use maps.

And there in lies a problem.

'Cause all maps are unequal

Some maps are more unequal than others

But only on Tues and Thurs

There are many sorts of maps, all attempting to solve one or more problems with WHERE.

Paper street maps show the approximate location and direction to any street within the grid area. Section A47 leads to block on the map where the street names are listed. It is not accurate. It's representational.

GPS systems have an average error of 50 ft., but they can be off by as much as a 100 ft. in WHERE. ² Given that modern humans rely on this imprecise information for auto-navigation systems , it's surprising anyone wants a self-driving car that can miss the road by 100 ft. and driving across the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge³ 600 ft. above the Rio Grande River might lead to quicker decent than anticipated if the car misses the roadway by even a few feet.

There is another niggly problem with WHERE and that is the earth is round-ish. There are maps that try to answer: "How do you make a round object into a flat surface?" It's rather like an orange and there are variations on how to peel it. Geographers and Cartographers have been working on this for a long long time.

For the rest of us it's a bit like Le Petit Prince's encounter with the Geographer ⁴. The Geographer knows nothing about the planet because all he does is write down what explorers tell him.

Le géographe ne quitte pas son bureau .... ⁴

So, where IS where?

For my hunk of dirt the only map that counts is a Cadastre Survey Map.⁵

A cadastre survey map marks the legal boundaries and corners of land parcels. While it has been around for centuries, but it's only since I've owned the pile of dirt, that I've learned about it. Knowing WHERE the boundaries and corners are, is an important way to avoid boundary clashes over fence lines and distance requirements. My dirt pile requires a 30 ft. fire break around the perimeter and a cadastre map will show where to measure that distance. It will allow the proper distance measurements between the house, well, septic and PGE power poles.

Now, given that the lot has been pretty much there since dirt was invented, one might think that this was a done-deal and it would be documented somewhere.

It is and it isn't.

Deed and title show the legal owner of what IS, and a previous cadastral map can show where the WHERE was; but you need something on the physical dirt to actually link both the "WHERE" and "IS" together.

Those physical markers are called milestones, boundary markers, survey markers, survey monuments or corner markers.⁶ Each has a purpose and is used to define the WHERE between two or more geographic areas.

So... why isn't a historical corner marker good enough?

Because someone with a bulldozer:

• dug it up
• moved it
• buried it
• excavated it
  or
• it was trashed and sent to some landfill.

On my dirt pile I have 5 markers.

2 have been found.
3 are missing.

OH CADASTRE!


References

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halfway_Down_(poem)
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A.A._Milne
2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Positioning_System
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Error_analysis_for_the_Global_Positioning_System
   Autonomous civilian GPS horizontal position fixes are typically accurate to about 15 meters (50 ft.)
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rio_Grande_Gorge_Bridge
   The Rio Grande Gorge Bridge, locally known as the "Gorge Bridge" or the "High Bridge... Roughly 600 ft. above the Rio Grande, it is the tenth highest bridge in the United States.
4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_Prince
   https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Petit_Prince
   Le géographe est trop important pour flâner. Il ne quitte pas son bureau. Mais il y reçoit les explorateurs. Il les interroge, et il prend en note leurs souvenirs.
5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadastre
   A cadastre (also spelled cadaster) is a comprehensive land recording of real estate to define the dimensions and location of land parcels described in legal documentation
6. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milestone
   A milestone is one of a series of numbered markers placed along a road or boundary at intervals of one mile or occasionally, parts of a mile
   
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boundary_marker
   A boundary marker, border marker, boundary stone, or border stone is a robust physical marker that identifies the start of a land boundary or the change in a boundary, especially a change in direction of a boundary. There are several other types of named border markers, known as pillars, obelisks, and corners.
   
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survey_marker
   Survey markers, also called survey marks, survey monuments, survey benchmarks or geodetic marks, are objects placed to mark key survey points on the Earth's surface.

Missing Survey Markers in Red

Choices by Anno Nymus

Choices

Back then …

you picked your side …

the Yin-Yang of social norms …

and so it was either …

Coke or Pepsi
Corn Flakes or Oatmeal
Stones or Beatles
Ford or Chevy
Donkey or Elephant

Greaser or Surfer
Jock or Preppie
Hard Rock or Folk
Country or Bluegrass
Pro-Life or Pro-Choice
Should I Stay or Should I Go
Mornings or Nights
Martin or Gibson
Go Solo or Form a Band

Shoes or Sandals
Suit or Tie-Dye
Longhair or Shorn
Brogans or Flip-Flops
OP's or 3 Piece Suit
'Sex,Drugs,'and Rock & Roll' or any Alternatives
Communes or Bible thumping
Straight or Else
Woodstock or Altamont
Pall Mall or Camels
Kool or Winston
Marlboro or Chesterfield

Pie or Cake
Milk or Soda
Taco or Burrito
Granola or Omelet
Burgers or Hot Dogs
Won Ton or Egg Flower
to Sushi or Not

Dodgers or Yankees
NYT or WSJ
McD or BK
Sizzler or Ryan’s
Mom's Fried Chicken or KFC
Progress or Congress

Slapstick or Puns
Writin' or Readin'
Limericks or Lyrics
Country or Classical
Highbrow or Lowbrow
Folk Music or Broadway
Sports or Library

Polio Vaccine or Iron Lung
Gamma Globulin or Jungle Rot
Life or Death
Birth or Abortion
Orphanages or Throw Away Kids

War or Peace
Vietnam or Marching
Segregation or Marching
Death Penalty or Marching
Womens' Rights or Marching
Equal Rights or Marching
Peoples Park or Marching
Black Panthers or KKK
Marching For or Marching Against

Macro or Micro
IBM or Pencil
Slide Rule or Pencil
Typewriter or Pencil
Analog or Digital
Apple or Microsoft
Steve Jobs or Bill Gates
Mac-rosoft & Micro-apple

California or Arizona
Hollywood or Tucson
Palo Alto or Tucson
Tucson or Mexico City
Mexico City or Cuernavaca
Saguaro Monument or Colossal Cave
Saguaro Corners or 17 mile drive
Cochise or Erle Stanley Gardner
Horses or Pickup's
Regular or High Test
Self Service Gas Station or Full Service Gas Station
Odd license day or Even license day

Cafes or Diners
Tea or Coffee
Toast or Fruit
White or Wheat
Wet or Dry
Jack D or Jim B
Hatfield's or McCoy's
Bubble Up or 7 Up
Wine or Beer
Less Filling or More Taste

Diploma or GED
College or Trades
White Collar or Blue Collar
Management or Labor
Stanford or Harvard
College or Draft
College or Vietnam
Air Force or Marines

S.F. or NYC
Berkeley or Boston
East Coast or West Coast
LA Rams or Baltimore Colts
Palo Alto or Philadelphia

Black or White
B/W or Color
White or Wheat
Black or Cream 'n Sugar
Black Hat or White Hat
'Black 'n White' or Color
White As Light or Black As Night
Segregation or Integration

Honky Tonk Saturday Nights or Sunday Morning Go to Meeting
One Gets You Stabbed or The Other Gives You Meaning

… and so it went – and so it goes …
* * * *

Copyright 2019 R. Bigelow (aka Anno Nymus)

Telephone Road by Anno Nymus

Telephone Road
by Anno Nymus

'52 June - I'm livin' in Texas …
… off of Telephone Road
Dads brother – is flying high in Houston
While sister's being borned …
… in the land of the Angels

Dad wheels and deals – rollin' on rubber wheels
Mom rubs elbows working with the great and famous
For only ½ the pay – of all the men there by the way
Art is struggling – for mom – and for dad

I start down – that lost ol' Jericho road
soon questioning – the great unknowns
Chance and Luck – are my best pals
well-springs – in supporting roles
both or all alone – this ancient story – old old old

Banjo from the mountains – banjo from the city …
makes a big racket – but don't it sound purty !
dulcet dulcimers – Berea, Cumberland's Gap
Appalachian adventures – far off the maps
But wait ! … open that Golden Gate …
here I come – feets do your stuff .. I cant wait …

Heading for Californ'
on the road again sure as you're born !
New adventures await in far off Cali
For dulcimers & Tangents – Stanford and Paly
The Tangent Deli '62 – prequel to the living 'Dead'
Garcia – Hunter – Weir – Nelson – and Pigpen
sippin' in the alley
my friends all then ...

Herringbone’s, Loars
Grenada’s and Martins
Playing our souls out – our lives just startin'
The fiddles soar ' – Telecasters roar
laundromat jamming late into the nights
Dances of Folks and late coffee house nites
Daytime’s filled with high learning delights
Coffee houses – havens of foment
We lived there virtually… with passions intense
creating futures so bright – and longing for Nashville
Recording Studios and a '64 Pontiac Bonneville

Roveings Ravings Rambles and Rumbles
Life’s little living stammers and stumbles ...

Quaker in the Corps
VIET NAM in the jungles

Let-your-feet-do-the-voting ! March for what you believe in !
Freedom Riders – Anti-War protest – Vigils – Equal Rights sit-ins !
Don't believe politicians in times of war – Hell, don't believe politicians !!

Home
A Miracle !

Film & Video
school – Art
Galleries
Corporate Events
Music Festivals
I arrive : show-biz
gigs in theme Parks
Coffee Houses – anachronisms now
The Penny University – The Ash Grove
The Tangent – The Ark
golden days
for a simple artist's living to be made

The Tangent Deli '69 - a country tsunami a-bornin'
the eyes of Texas are upon them
Armadillo Headquarters a brewing
Outlaw Country 'n hippies about to merge
A sheep at the wheel driving Cody's Commander
Palto Gryphons and banjo Crowes
A Gold Rush erupts – just lookin' for those Poa Boys

College and school – to be or not to be
Getta Job ! .. Steve Jobs! - and the wizard Woz
computers a-bornin'
my friends all – then, and Steven says …
'school can mess with your education'

what is the answer ? – but … what is the question ?
Is life simply the question – and living the solution ?
I just keep moving and ignore that confusion
keep doin' good– keep chuggin' along
…if ya don't mind, it don't matter after all
Just live to the hilt – as a boy with a dog
so c'mon boys … ever … onward - thru the fog !

Seems I've been everywhere or someplace like it … but now it's …
2018 June – I'm living in Texas …

... off of Telephone Road

El Rancho S-OH-S Part 07 by KimB

Episode Going Away

Discussions with The County can be quite illuminating. Not so much as in having an epiphany or getting insight on a topic but rather like getting hit by a multitude of perspectives.


Act 1 Scene 7 Excavating Ancient Plans
sound effect: approaching foot steps

Bolt	What do you want?
Moi	I have these really old plans and I would like to know if they can be updated to current standards.
Bolt	How old are they?
Moi	Old
Bolt	How old?
Moi	The reign of Thutmose I the third pharaoh of the 18th dynasty of Egypt 1506–1493 BC. Can I show them to you?
Bolt	Don't even open them!!! I won't look!!!
Moi	Oh! Why? Don't you want to see them?
Bolt	NO!!!!! I WON'T LOOK AT THEM!
Moi	Oh ... is there are problem?
Bolt	I'm LEAVING CALIFORNIA!!! I can't wait to get away from here! If I look I might be entrapped! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!

End Act 1 Scene 7 Excavating Ancient Plans
sound effect: fleeing steps

Clearly not a fan of
National Geographic Ancient Egypt Specials

El Rancho S-OH-S Part 06 by KimB

Episode Parking The Hay

Maxims of Motors

• You cannot have a Garage without a House.
• You cannot have a Carport without a Building.
• You can have a Pole Barn.... If you Park Hay in it.

Exeter Book1 Codex Exoniensis Riddle 24
Old English	Modern English
Ic eom wunderlicu wiht—wræsne mine stefne:	I am a wondrous creature—I vary my voice;
hwilum beorce swa hund,	sometimes I bark like a dog,
hwilum blæte swa gat,	sometimes I bleat like a goat,
hwilum græde swa gos,	sometimes I cry like a goose,
hwilum gielle swa hafoc.	sometimes I shriek like a hawk.

References

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exeter_Book_Riddle_24
   The Exeter Book, Exeter Cathedral Library MS 3501, also known as the Codex Exoniensis, is a tenth-century book (960-1072).
   The Exeter Book is the largest known collection of Old English literature still in existence.
   This is a portion of the Exeter Book Riddle 24.

Telivision

I find myself glued to the television screen, listening and watching all of the news broadcasts about the Presidential election. This year the news is so compelling, that I'm even changing my eating habits just to make certain I don't miss a TV news broadcast.

I haven't always been so involved in either TV news or programming.  There have been long periods in my life that I didn't pay attention to either, but I must admit there were several instances where I became momentarily addicted. 

One of the instances was President Nixon's 7 day visit to China in 1972.  I had just purchased a large cabinet television with a larger size screen than I had been used to and images of Nixon and his wife, Pat meeting Mao Zedong, and traveling to three cities, Beijing, Hangzhou and Shanghai and visiting factories and schools were certainly intriguing! 

Of course watching Watergate on television was a mesmerizing experience.  What more can I say?  Even reading the history of that time is still a mesmerizing experience.

When the O J trial took place, I tried not to miss any of the televised part.  At that time I was driving from Texas to California.  Since I wasn't in a hurry, I scheduled my motel stops so that I could watch the trial on TV in the afternoons. 

Television is such a part of daily living now that I have to laugh when I remember what is was like the first time I saw TV.  My husband and I had just returned that day from 3 years in France and before traveling on to Philadelphia, we stayed overnight with my sister and her husband in New York. 

They were living with her husbands parents and after dinner we watched television, which my husband and I had never seen.  There was wrestling and every so often there would be a break in the action while someone would advertise a product.  The advertisements were for different products each time and then wrestling would continue. 

The TV screen was a small square on the side of a small box and looked very much like a regular movie, only smaller.  I was used to watching a movie all the way through, so the breaks in action didn't seem to make much sense.  It made the pleasure of watching a wrestling match a dis-jointed experience.  Little did I realize that television was going to be the most important medium for advertising of any kind!
By 1952 this medium was used for a presidential election and has been so for every presidential election since.     

El Rancho S-OH-S Part 05 by KimB

Episode Invest in a Paper Mill

It might be a good idea to invest in a Paper Mill¹ or seriously consider doing so.

While the mantra of The Paperless Office² only made the amount of paper use increase, the concept of less paper has not actually hit those in charge of building things.

They are trying though.
 They haven't succeeded.

There is an enormous amount of paper needed to get anywhere near where you want to get to. Plans, sketches, plot maps, materials lists, structural details, statements of operational intent and an infinite list of other things are needed.

Not only are these lists infinite, you have to have provide multiple sets of everything: 2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 for starters. Every group that has a say-so in the process, has their own infinite lists and varying numbers of duplicates needed.

I think the only single item is the check with the required fees when you hand over the tidal wave of paper.

You will want to use a hand written check because there are tack-on fees to cover the bank surcharges when plastic is used for payment.

You might need to learn/relearn how to write in cursive to do this. Block letters just doesn't cut the mustard.³

There is also the counter problem of mass pulped trees ⁴ with ink on them which is that once things go IN the computer they may or may not come out again.

Some items are Sort of In
 and some items are Sort of Out.

Which causes a hysterical effect of:

But But But I DID! I DID!

followed by

hmmm hmmm
OH! There it is (or isn't)

There is an enormous amount of information that is in these systems. Absolutely mind boggling considering the number of dead mushed trees that are required for submission. How they find anything at all in the morass is astonishing. Which of course, they may not because computers are error prone and are not smart enough to recognize that a typo or misclick has sent something into the wrong folder, the wrong account, the wrong project.

It's like the old playground game:

• Lost Paper moves you back.
• Old Paper trumps Lost Paper.
• New Paper moves you forward.

You might want to bring a hand truck.⁵

References

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paper_mill
2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paperless_office
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cursive
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Block_letters
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cut_the_mustard
4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wood_pulp
5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand_truck

Stack of Paper

El Rancho S-OH-S Part 04 by KimB

Episode Fire and Prevention

While there are still a few folks who think 115f/46.11c is normal balmy summer weather, a great many more of us are getting the message that "IT IS HOT!" and it isn't going to get any cooler in our lifetimes.

I have watched the news of fires all over the world. I have had friends in the massive fire that wrecked the City of Santa Rosa, California, and other cities were just wiped out with many deaths. Years back, I knew people who lived through the fire storm that raged though the Oakland-Berkeley Hills exploding houses from the intense heat.¹

Fire demands Respect.

In the interest of being respectful I am working to have the requisite fire breaks and weed abatement done on the lot. Of course some of this requires questions and answers from those who know about the topic of Fire and Prevention.

Act 1 Scene 4 Calling Fire and Prevention
sound effect: Phone rings

FandP      Hello

Moi         Hello, I own a lot and would like to have the lot cleaned up, weeds removed and fire breaks added. Can you tell me about any restrictions or issues in having this done?

FandP      If you start a fire you will be responsible.

Moi         Ah ummm, I am trying to do what is required to prevent a fire.

FandP      If you start a fire you will be responsible.

Moi         Ah ummm, I would like to know are there are any time of day restrictions?

FandP      You can do what you like. Best to stop before 10am but you don't have to. If you start a fire you will be responsible.

Moi         Ah ummm, would it be better to wait 8 weeks until the weather changes and the fire danger is less?

FandP      You can do what you like. People work in all seasons and conditions. If you start a fire you will be responsible.

Moi         OK Thank you.

FandP      You're welcome. Remember if you start a fire you will be responsible.

End Act 1 Scene 4
sound effect: Music fade

R--E--S--P--E--C--T ²
Find out what it means to me ...

References

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camp_Fire_(2018)
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2018_California_wildfires
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oakland_firestorm_of_1991
2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respect_(song)

The Far Horizon

[Editor's Post]

It's that time again, when we start to wonder ...

The OH SHYTE Presidential moment by KimB
[Editor's note: This story was written by KimB]
Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Food - Glorious Food!

The Recipe Box: Steamed Artichokes
[Editor's note: This story was written by ElGato]
Wednesday, November 16, 2011

History in English Haiku

I was browsing thru some old Smithsonian magazines, dated 1999 and 2003, that had been stored in the garage, and discovered some long forgotten articles and the following haiku written by Spike Gillespie.

The following haiku are a look at our past, written in English. The English form follows the Japanese rules of seventeen syllables and three lines, but is less strict, particularly concerning the number of syllables and subject matter.

Haiku by Spike Gillespie as printed in the Smithsonian Magazine 1999, 2003
Big bang or maybe six days of work, one of rest. Somehow, it begins.	Dinosaurs tromp tromp, act tough, then die so Spielberg can win more Oscars.
Homo erectus is Mr. Smarty No Pants plays with fire, makes tools.	Ice age arrives and prompts Homo sapiens to start wearing some clothes.
Hunt, gather? Why? This is the dawning of the age of Agrarius	There's no place like Rome, A salad of Caesars tossed aside by the Goths.
Guttenberg printing thrills all the writer types with a moveable feat.	Fourteen ninety-two; Chris Columbus breaks ground for the first McDonalds.
Colonists unite. Boston tea fling leads sun to set on British flag.	Industry arrives. It's electric. It's steamy. We are humming now.
Eighteen sixty-one: divided we fall. Able Lincoln unites us.	One world war follows another. Rosie rivets. Patton rolls. We win.
Russia leads space race. So? They get Sputnik but we get Elvis Presley.	Alphabet of strength: MLK, JFK, X Spelling civil rights.
Sixties. Some drafted. Some protest. Some seek flower power in the Haight.	John Travolta is disco dance personified. (What WERE we thinking?)
Internet arrives. You have mail! How did we find Things before Google?	The young dot-wealthy kiss hubris 'bye; bubble bursts, Can't cash laughingstocks.
A pair of Bushes are planted at the White House, make Clinton sandwich.	Crisis speak thy name, First Saddam. Then Monica. Then Saddam, again.
The twin towers fall. Sorrow, anger and pride rise up from the ashes.

El Rancho S-OH-S Part 03 by KimB

Episode Power Maybe

There are two parts to getting power: The Electrical Company and Local Government. While I'm working with the Electrical Company answering Jolt Questions, I also have to work with the local permit folks. I will be working with them a lot, so I am making special efforts to learn what it is I need to know and to learn how to ask for it.

It's all in how you ask.

Every aspect has someone with a dog-in-the-fight or an axe-to-grind. It's rather surprising how many different groups are involved, each with their own agendas. Navigating the waters isn't straight forward and you never know when a crocodile is gonna bite you. Once the croc has raised it's head, it's best to come back another day and try again because NO is a very basic part of their vocabulary, and like a toddler, NO becomes THE answer for everything.¹

Of course, NO isn't the answer I am looking for and it invariably comes down to having asked for the wrong thing. Sometimes you just have to reword things to get where you want to go. I'm adding lots of new words to my vocabulary.

Once you get the idea that it isn't a game of 20 Questions²; it's more a game of Guess the Word³.

So the game is this:

• Game Board:Undeveloped Lot
• Players:Electrical Company, Local Government, Moi
• Goal:Electrical Power
• To Win:Must complete all Objectives
• Objectives:
  1. Permit
  2. Electric Power Pole
  3. Electric Power Meter
  4. Electricity
• Rule:You cannot have electrical power on an undeveloped lot

I like games!

References

1. ht tps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_8-Ball
   The Magic 8 Ball is a toy used for fortune-telling or seeking advice. The user asks a yes-or-no question then turns it over to reveal a written answer.
2. ht tps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twenty_Questions
   Twenty Questions is a spoken parlor game. One player is chosen to be the answerer and selects a topic. All other players take turns asking a question which can be answered with a simple "Yes" or "No."
3. ht tps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Password_(game_show)
   Attempt to convey mystery words to each other using only single-word clues...



My Sources Say NO

Silk

While having a phone chat with my daughter today, we covered several topics of special interest to each of us, health, books,knitting projects and her plans for a retirement cabin. Then our chat drifted into remembrances of conversations with family members and I mentioned one I had with my paternal grandmother many years ago. Grandmother told me about raising silkworms and feeding them mulberry leaves.¹

I believed her, because she was not the kind of person to exaggerate or make up stories, but at the same time, I wondered if it really had happened. We never discussed it further but I kept the remarks in my mind. My daughter and I talked about the pros and cons of Grandmother actually raising silkworms; I knew mulberry trees grew in the United States, because we had one in the yard of our house in Iowa where I lived as a child.

I have to back track here in order to set the scene of my Grandmother's young life. My father was raised in the south, my mother was raised in the north, consequently, I have ancestors that fought on both sides of the Civil War. Grandmothers father, my Great Grandfather, was raised in Virginia.

There had been an effort to produce silk in the Colony of Virginia with the cultivation of silkworms in response to King James's interest in the subject, but it was unsuccessful, possibly due to lack of enthusiasm among the Colonists. When a young barrister in England, Edward Digges ², emigrated to the Virginia Colony, he developed a strong interest in reviving the production of silk.

Digges purchased from Captain John West 1250 acres in the present day York County, Virginia. Digges even wrote a pamphlet describing how the silkworms could be kept outdoors on native mulberry trees. Digges efforts to create a silk industry proved futile when the Virginia Assembly became disillusioned and passed an act that rescinded a prior act requiring the planting of mulberry trees.

Today there a numerous mulberry trees still standing and the Georgia's Historical Society relates information about the Mulberry Grove Plantation in Georgia.

References

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silk
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mulberry_tree
2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Digges
3. Four of the most important domesticated silk moths.
   Top to bottom: Bombyx mori, Hyalophora cecropia, Antheraea pernyi, Samia Cynthia.
   From Meyers Konversations-Lexikon (1885–1892)

Silk Moths ³

The Great Texas Grass Episode by Anno Nymus

In 1964, I found myself attending college in San Bernardino. I was missing my girlfriend during that particularly long hot 'Berdoo'¹ summer, so I called her whilst she was summering, and simmering, in Texas, on a mandatory family visit in August. That she was OK there was a wonder, as we all had come to think of Texas as the end of the world !

In those days, most everyone in my California circle - myself especially - generally believed that all Texans were cowboys, oilmen, or country music performers; that everyone rode horses to work, had big hats and ranches, and cactus bloomed everywhere. We had seriously stereotyped images of "Texas", that might seem comical now, of a dry hot barren, foreboding desert with circling buzzards – a place to avoid.

If I owned Texas and Hell...
I'd rent out Texas, and live in Hell!
    General Philip Henry Sheridan 1866 ²

'Berdoo' folks know about living in heat, so we could appreciate Texas as just being a dang hot place to live. We thought everyone there lived like the Dynasty TV series:³ business men were like the character 'JR Ewing'⁴ and everyone was a spur jangling redneck or roustabout or worse. All of which pretty much encapsulated everything we thought we knew about Texas.

Those were simple times.

The PC, and mass communication devices were 30 years off. You only knew the latest stuff from radio, and TV (3 stations). We had rotary corded, or public pay phones: the cordless home phone didn’t exist yet, and it's still 25 years before cell phones. Digital had not happened yet! There were no pocket calculators only slide rules. No instant worldwide communications – except expensive trans-oceanic phone calls. It will be 4-5 years yet for Monterrey Pop and Woodstock, and the moon landing.⁵

It was a simpler time, but we had certainty in what we knew. Texas, seemed like it was a whole 'nother country.

As I was chatting my lady friend, I was eager and extremely curious how my 'Hippie from California'⁶ was making out in the dreaded land of her redneck family. I asked, 'What is there to do in Texas?' Her reply was a classic:

In this heat, our biggest excitement is
 laying awake at night just listening to the grass die!

After many, many life adventures, 50+ years later, I now find myself very happily living in Texas, as a 'T-I-C' (Texas Improved Californian). I have a wonderful 1 acre ranch and house, with a fabulously landscaped lawn, and beautiful pool ! As I write this, it's now deep gulf coast summer, and the lawn is getting pretty well baked, in spite of daily watering.

As I was studying the situation recently – and fretting about the lawn, I suddenly burst out laughing ... recalling my friends comment from lo those many years ago ! In a flash, I had finally evolved enough to appreciate the depth of that 50 year old observation!

Nowadays, even in the midst of this particularly hot summer, I really do enjoy sitting out on the veranda overlooking the pool, watching the birds at the feeders, relaxing in my lovely and tranquil yard and gardens .. very park like. It IS a 'whole 'nother country'!

When answering the phone, and asked what I'm doing, I often I tell folks .. “I'm jus' watching the pool evaporate”, but you know, I'm secretly trying to suss if I can hear the grass die!!

This brings an inner smile of course, glowing at how serendipitously all this has converged. It's been a very long road from California to Texas, materializing over a 50 year arc: Texas having – realistically - changed from mysterious far off land to – literally, a wonderful piece of paradise !

T for Texas,
T for Tennessee
...
any ol' place I hang my hat
is home sweet home to me!

    Jimmie Rodgers – The Yodeling Brakeman - 1920's⁷

References

1. San Bernardino, California has many informal nicknames: San Berdoo, S.B.D., S.B., San B., Dino, San Bernas, and Berdoo are the most common
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Bernardino,_California
2. General Philip Henry Sheridan (March 6, 1831 – August 5, 1888)
   1866 his quip was widely reported:
   "If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent Texas and live in Hell."
   https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Philip_Sheridan
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Sheridan
3. Dynasty is an American prime time television soap opera that aired on ABC from January 12, 1981, to May 11, 1989.
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dynasty_(1981_TV_series)
4. John Ross "J. R." Ewing Jr. is a fictional character in the American television series Dallas (1978–91) and its spin-offs, including the revived Dallas series (2012–14). The character was portrayed by Larry Hagman from the series premiere in 1978 until his death in late 2012, and Hagman was the only actor who appeared in all 357 episodes of the original series. As the show's most famous character, J.R. has been central to many of the series' biggest storylines. He is depicted as a covetous, egocentric, manipulative and amoral oil baron with psychopathic tendencies, who is constantly plotting subterfuges to plunder his foes' wealth.
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._R._Ewing
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Hagman
5. List of Pre-Digital Communications and Technology
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radio
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotary_dial
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slide_rule
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monterey_Pop_Festival
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodstock
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_11
6. A hippie (sometimes spelled hippy) is a member of the counterculture of the 1960s, originally a youth movement that began in the United States during the mid-1960s.
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippie
7. James Charles Rodgers (September 8, 1897 – May 26, 1933) was an American singer-songwriter and musician in the early 20th century, known most widely for his rhythmic yodeling. Rodgers, along with his contemporaries the Carter Family, was among the first country music stars, cited as an inspiration by many artists and an inductee into numerous halls of fame. Rodgers was also known as "The Singing Brakeman", "The Blue Yodeler", and "The Father of Country Music".
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmie_Rodgers_(country_singer)
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Yodel_(songs_by_Jimmie_Rodgers)

El Rancho S-OH-S Part 02 by KimB

Episode: Electrical Service

One might think that electrical service in the 21th Century is a given for civilization, it turns out it is not.

What that means is: You have no "rights" to obtain electrical service if for some odd reason beyond comprehension someone with more privileges than you, says "no".

When I bought the property I did a lot of research and talked with anyone who had anything to do with building, the area and covered every possible part of my meager ass-ets by asking questions and as this saga will no doubt go to show, just because you got a question answered does not mean the answer is valid after you got it.

In case, you might be inclined to think my research was lacking, my main research document is now more than 100 pages plus all sorts of supporting side documents, images, diagrams and details of anything that might be even a teeny-weeny bit helpful.

In this case it is Electrical Service.

After researching and talking with the electrical service provider for this area, as well as reading all the PDFs and studying all the diagrams included, I called them to begin the process to get the service put on the lot. I ended up with a Service Planner who will be The One to determine what I get and how.

What the TV shows skip are:

Questions about Service and what does THAT mean?

There appears to be three sorts of people you have to interact with:

• There are people who know and share their knowledge.
• There are people who know and do not want to share their knowledge.
• There are people who know but will not give you the time of day.

You will find out pretty darn quick which sort of person you are interacting with and you have to adjust your approach accordingly. Sometimes it's better to abort and try again in a few days.

When you get a Type A, this is the fastest and nicest path from where you are to where you need to go next. Cherish these folks 'cause there are plenty of Bs and Cs to go around.

When you get a Type B, this is the person that says: "You tell me what you want in detail" and then replies with "We Don't Do or Allow That".

If unfortunately, you to come face to face with a Type C, just go home and try another day when Type C might be assigned to someone else.

So, in the case of the Electrical Service Planner, I have to answer questions about things I really know nothing about, you know like electrical stuff. One might think that 'cause it's electrical service and they are the ones in charge of it, they might be able to suggest, offer, advise on what is needed but no.....

As I am winding my way through the list of things that require answers, there is always another question or mismatched answer to resolve. It's rather exciting actually, to pass one level of questions to find out what's on the next the level.

Jeopardy with a jolt.

The Far Horizon

[Editor's Post]

Food - Glorious Food!

The Recipe Box: Steamed Artichokes
[Editor's note: This story was written by ElGato]
Wednesday, November 16, 2011

It may take a long time but the end result is from a life time of love.

The 17 Year Spread by Barbara
[Editor's note: This story was written by Barbara]
Saturday, April 26, 2014

El Rancho S-OH-S Part 01 by KimB

Episode: The Lot

Nearly every time you turn on the TV you see one of those Fix It Up House programs showing how ezpz it is to swap your old humdrum boring house for a super swanky fab house with hardly a fuss to your shellacked coiffure or chip in the 4 inch long manicured finger nails.

So, not to be out done or under done, I am jumping the shark a bit to post about my own project:

An undeveloped 5 acre lot
Located about 1 hour east of Fresno, California.

Well, it's not much a project at the moment, but I do own the dirt and trees and as there isn't anything else, except the local wild life, that lives there, I haven't dented anything except my bank account.

The PLAN

To build a small house using green renewable technologies with a lot of old fashioned know how.

The IDEA

I am now moving past the middle part of older-personhood, I want a small house where things are comfortable but not so grand or swank. I no longer have need for many things that builders put in housing, like a second floor. I am not hosting grand dinners and country getaways for the rich and famous, just ordinary suppers so I don't need dining space to seat 400 for Sunday Afternoon Brunches.

The BUDGET

This is easy: NONE.

As the old saying goes you can make a small fortune in race horses. Provided you start with a large fortune, you can change it to a small one.

Since I have no fortune to begin with, small is closer to none at all.

I am planning on many things but how much I will be able to accomplish is going to be the interesting part of the project. Lots of ideas about how to spend money I don't have. Saves a lot of wear and tear on the finger nails when the price tag goes beyond the cost of a burger and fries.

The OUT

Well, every project has an "out" where things get so muddled up, everyone throws up their hands and gives up. The TV shows don't show you many of those but one can guess that the Big Home Lumber Stores aren't making money because things worked out the first time.

Years back there was an old saying:

It takes 3 trips to the hardware store to fix something.

Trip 1: You buy what you think you need.
Trip 2: You buy what you forgot to buy on Trip 1.
Trip 3: You buy replacement parts for things you broke trying to fix the something.

I would add

Trip 4: Return all the unused items you bought in Trips 1, 2 and 3.

The OUT is to just stop. I may not be able to achieve what I want. I don't have a time table, other than before I die, so if things don't work out, well they don't work out. The dirt and trees and wild life won't mind at all if I don't move in with them.

Rather than tell you all the grand things and how ezpz things are, I figured it might be a bit more entertaining to explain all the items you do not see on those 30 Minutes to Masterpiece Reveals, that are de rigueur. Since this is an on-going project, be prepared for more shifts and turns and jumps than a Down Hill Ski Racer.



The Lot